Wrong Number (Cake Hoodings)

47

{ f o r t y s e v e n }

Luke: I miss our text chats ):

Calum<3: the ones we had before we met each other?

Luke: yeah.

Calum<3: then let's chat baby

Luke: chat is cat in French. I'm too smart for this world because I know that *sunglasses emoji*

Calum<3: of course you are. Okay tell me about your cats because I know you're dying to.

Luke<3: you know me so well.

Luke: ok don't tell the others but my favourite is Liam because he just likes to be around me all the time. He even sleeps on my bed and the others get the floor.

Calum<3: I think that may make it obvious to the others

Luke: they aren't smart

Calum<3: now you're insulting them too? Jesus why don't you just sell them all and keep Liam then you cat lady!

Luke: you have to accept that I'm a cat lady Calum

Luke: anyway, sometimes I feel jealous because Liam likes everyone and just craves attention so

Calum<3: that attention whore!

Calum<3: how dare he!

Calum<3: doesn't he know that your attention is the absolute best?

Luke: alright suck up, chill.

Luke: sometimes I like to lock Harry and Louis in rooms together in hopes that Larry may become a thing (Harry is a female cat.)

Calum<3: let me get this straight, not only did you name your cats after 1D, but also, you called the only female cat out of the 4 Harry. Just so they'd all be named after 1D?

Luke: why do names have to be gender specific?

Calum<3: ...you got me there.

Luke: and who said Harry was the only female? I'll have you know that I think Niall may also be female but I wouldn't know

Calum<3: how do you not know?

Luke: I've never taken niall to the vets or even gotten near him really.

Calum<3: but he's your cat. How is that possible?

Luke: I'm sure I've already told you this, but Niall is an asshole, like he really is. He hates everyone.

Luke: it's weird because real life niall is literally a ray of sunshine, honestly how can one not love niall horan?

Calum<3: alright I'm getting jealous over here.

Calum<3: I just remembered about the cats Larry thing. Did it work?

Luke: yeah, I think my cats are actually dating now. Or they're really close best friends who like, casually make Harry pregnant

Calum<3: Harry's pregnant?!

Luke: no he was, gave birth a year ago or so.

Calum<3: so where's the baby?

Luke: I'm sighing because you know nothing about cats-.- cats give birth to a litter; lots of babies. Harry gave birth to 5 and only 3 survived- I actually tear up just remembering it