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{ s e v e n t y n i n e }

When Michael leaves, the room is left in an enveloped silence. Luke and Calum are staring at each other, Calum holding back a fond smile at the sight of half of Luke's hair sticking up and the other half flat against his head. I love you. 

"I'm sorry." Calum says. 

"What for?"

"Um, asking that girl out, g-giving her a hickey...lying as if you wouldn't find out." Calum looked down before Luke did, both of them hurt by his words but in different ways. "I'm sorry I fucked it up so much that you kissed someone else." Calum added in a whisper, his voice raw as more tears rolled down his cheeks. Luke's breathe caught at the accusation, his own breathing already shaky. 

It hit him all over again, that he'd actually kissed his best friend and for what? To get back at his boyfriend? For comfort? He doesn't eve remember, already halfway on the way to blocking it from his mind. He remembers Michael's soft lips, how wrong they felt against his. The shock of his own actions jolting at him and making him pull away. Michael's stuttered soothing words as he tried to tell Luke they were okay. Coming home. Not talking about it. Sleeping. Calum. 

"I'm sorry too." Luke said evenly. "Look, I don't think-"

"No." Calum cut him off, probably assessing Luke's final tone. "Before you say anything like that, fuck Luke, just wait. Talk to me- listen to me. I was scared and I'm such a fuck up but I love you so much- like so much-"

"I can't do this if you're going to parties and going on dates and... touching other people, okay?! You can't just ask me to do something like that for you!" Luke exploded. "Why would- you always said you hated that people assumed you slept around, and doing that would give them that idea anyway. Or did you lie about that too?" Calum's face dropped down again. "I don't get you right now, and I don't like it because I feel... I don't know, I feel like everything I knew about you was wrong. I feel like I've wasted so much of my time falling for you-"

"You haven't." Calum's voice broke. 

"Then why do I feel like I'd sacrifice more for you than you would for me?" 

"I don't have anything to sacrifice other than my whole life. If I sacrifice one thing, say my shitty friends, my family goes, my home goes, my education, my reputation..."

"I was okay with that before today Calum." Luke whispers. "I don't know whether I'm okay with this being the way it is now. I was fine with us being a secret, but us being a secret so you can just be unfaithful? I'm not willing to hurt myself like that. I'm not willing to have you use me like that." 

Calum stares at him for a long time, his eyes red along with the bridge of his nose. His cheeks pink, his eyelashes clumped together and wet. His mind runs wild, his eyes glaze as he tries to think of a solution to the mess that he's got himself into. 

Why is the only solution the epitome of self destruction?

He makes the decision when he looks away from the heartbroken blond, wiping under his eyes and making his eyes burn a little more. "I'll see you tomorrow then, I guess." 

"Wait, Calum-"

But he's already out of the door. 

AN// lol r u ready for more dramaaaaa???

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