Newtmas - These Four Walls

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This is gonna be a sad one, warnings in advance :)

Ps. Spoiler Alert!

Based On: These Four Walls by Little Mix

Thomas' POV

I lay awake, alone, on my bed, the sheets thrown on the floor, staring up at the ceiling above me. I heard laughter echoing from outside, the rest of the survivors trying their best to relax by the fire.

Minho had come to drag me out earlier, but I refused. Silently laying on the bed, I didn't even bother to look at him. He'd eventually given up, leaving with a sad sigh.

Slowly, I closed my eyes, another stray tear falling down my cheek. I felt it leave a trail down my face before dropping down, a small puddle on the bed beneath me.

An empty feeling clouded me, engulfing me.

My heart felt small, empty . . . broken. Ever since he left, I haven't felt the same. I lost my spark. If I heard his voice, I'd be fine.

I'd tried to smile, I tried to forget. I just wanted to be happy again, to feel alive, but I know there's no point. All I wanted was to hear his voice again. I can't help but wonder, what if I had one more night for goodbye? Would I finally get to tell him how I really felt? Would he feel the same? Did he?

But now I'd never know . . .

*flashback*

My fingers hesitated on the trigger, ghosting over it. I couldn't do this.

Looking down, I saw him staring up at me, his beautiful eyes full of insanity. He wasn't him anymore.

"Pull it!" he screeched, clawing up my side. "PULL IT!"

A tear fell down my face, as I closed my eyes, trying to calm down.

This wasn't happening. This wasn't real.

"Tommy . . ." he whispered softly. I looked down to see him kneeled in front of me, hands clasped in a prayer, eyes closed. "Please, Tommy, please.". He opened his eyes, staring straight into my soul with those wide, unstable orbs. But as I looked closer, examining him, I found a small spark of sanity lit up inside him, and I knew, I knew that he meant it.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, not wanting to watch as my grip on the gun tightened. A warm pair of hands slid over mine, as he rubbed his thumb in a comforting gesture. Our fingers laced together as I took a deep breath, holding it before letting it go, and at that moment, the fingertips above my own pressed down, forcing me to pull the trigger. I screamed in unexpectance, pain lacing in my voice as the gunshot echoed round my head, on constant repeat.

There was a small thud as a now lifeless body fell to the floor below, the hands that were once on mine now limply sliding away. I felt the warmth leave my body, and I couldn't tell whether it was from the loss of contact, or from the realisation of what I'd just done.

Screaming, I fell to my knees, my head buried deep in my hands. I'd pulled it, I pulled the trigger! I'd killed him!

I would never hear his voice again, never feel his comforting touch, his reassurance. It was gone, all gone.

I'd never see him again . . .

*end of flashback*

I was curled up in the corner of the room, my face shielded by my hands, tears streaming down my cheeks. Cries leaving my mouth without me knowing.

I was shouting, screaming in pain, calling for him. But he was gone, and I already knew that, but I wanted him back. Just for one more night. I had to tell him, I never got the chance before. I needed him to know . . . he needed to know.

"Thomas, Thomas . . . calm down, deep breaths. It's fine, it's all going to be okay." Minho repeated in a soft voice, similar to Newt's, as he rocked me back and forth in his arms. I sobbed, my cries slowing down, becoming quieter, as I soaked his shirt with silent tears.

"I miss him . . . " I whispered, "I miss him so much, Minho, it hurts."

"I know, I know, Thomas." he replied, just holding me close. He knew now, after many of these episodes over the past year, that there was nothing he could say that would make me feel any better. He just had to be there for me when Newt couldn't anymore.

Minho already knew that I had feelings for Newt, I didn't even need to tell him, he'd already worked it out back in the Glade. But when Newt went, he was the only one who knew why I had changed. He knew why it had affected me so badly.

Every time I lost control, similar to now, Minho would be there for me. He was like an older brother, overly-protective and caring. He was the only stable thing left in my life.

"You should get some sleep." he said quietly, carefully picking me up from the cold ground and placing me back on the bed. He threw the sheets over me, making sure that I was safe and comfortable before leaving me in peace. "Goodnight, Thomas."

I closed my eyes, listening as the door clicked shut. Quiet laughter was still coming from outside, along with the constant crackle from the fire. Turning onto my side, holding the sheets close to me like they were another person, I slowly drifted off into sleep.

"Night, Newt."

Awe so this made me cry :(

Special Thanks to StereksAlpha for the suggestion, I hope it's okay?

I'm sorry if it was bad, I just really wanted to write it before I lost inspiration :/

Vote and Comment if you did enjoy it though :)

Love you, guys x

Ps. still taking suggestions :)



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