I Could Die For You (Editing In Progress)

87

The morning before I was scheduled to meet with Stone for the party, I woke up to the brutal ringing of my phone. Reluctantly, I crawled from the warmth of my bed and slugged over to the land line sitting atop the dresser. I picked it up and held it against my pale, sleepy skin.

"You got Lilly."

"I'd hope so. When are you coming over dude?" Stone asked, his voice awake and lively.

"Coming over?"

"Yeah, to the airport! Our flight leaves in an hour or something."

"Stone what are you talking about?"

"Lilly, I told you the other night that the party was in Los Angeles... We're flying over today."

"Shit."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah.. yeah.. I'll be there soon."

I hung up the phone and ran my fingers through my hair. My suitcase was sitting in the corner, hoarding dirty clothes; it was my new laundry basket. In a hurry, I dumped it out and packed it with a pair of sweatpants, a sweatshirt, some underwear and the black circle skirt, a cropped Ramones shirt and converse sneakers I was planning on wearing to the party. I changed into an old Chevrolet shirt, some jeans and a pair of flip flops, and before I knew it, I was in a cab on my way to meet Stone.

**

The plane ride was over in an hour/hour and a half. Stone and Jeff were the only ones who decided to come out, because apparently Eddie was infatuated with his new girlfriend. The thought of him with another girl lit a fire in my belly. I didn't know why, but it stirred some jealousy in me. I had had lots of sex in these last three months, but never with Eddie. It disappointed me, because I found Eddie quite attractive. I also fantasized that sex with Eddie would be... very spiritual and eye-opening. I shrugged it off, because my feelings towards Eddie weren't strong and therefore, I didn't feel like wasting my time grieving over the loss over a potential love-making session. I had planned on having a lot of them in this short trip to L.A..

We arrived at our motel later that night, and I retired to bed immediately. I woke up late afternoon the next day, and started getting ready for the party. I was anxious about going. I wanted to be there and dancing, intoxicated so I would stop feeling the emptiness that haunted me whenever I was sober. These past few weeks I've been wondering if all this drinking, sex, and partying was me trying to be someone I'm not, so I wouldn't have to feel so unlovable. I thought about this as I stared at my curly hair in the mirror, that rolled in perfect strands.

I sighed, and turned on the shower. The hot water trickled down my back, nurturing the knots and pressures residing in the muscles. I let out a moan and rubbed the makeup away from my eyes as the water poured down my face, some finding its way into my mouth.

When my shower had worn out its pleasure, I turned off the water, dried myself and quickly dressed to escape the cold air luring in my bathroom. My hair dried with the help of some blow drying, and then some of it was pinned back. I put on some light gray eye shadow, black eyeliner and mascara. I followed up with someone light pink lipstick and lip gloss.

As soon as I finished tying my shoes, there was a knock on my door. I marched over, and swung it open smiling wildly.

"Helloooo!" I said to Jeff.

He laughed and bid me hello, then explaining that our cab was waiting outside. He held out his arm for me to link mine with, and then he led me down the hall and outside to the cab. The drive from there to the party was short, only about 17 minutes. I followed Stone and Jeff inside, and felt the throbbing beat of music already shaking me.

When we walked inside, people were everywhere. Dancing and drinking, sitting at the bar or making out. For the first time in a long time, it panicked me. There were never this many people at a Seattle party. I chuckled at the thought, there probably weren't even this many people in Seattle. Stone led Jeff and I to the bar where each of us picked up a beer and toasted. I gulped it down and felt the emptiness in my stomach disappear with the new buzz of alcohol.

Stone and Jeff stayed behind to finish drinking but I went right in the crowd and starting dancing with strangers. I lost all of my worries and felt so much at peace. I was perspiring somewhat when a strong hand rested on my hip, trying to pull me to face whoever it belonged to. Protectively, I moved out of reach and spun around.

My body flamed when I looked at Anthony.