Holding onto Forever

Stop!

Skylar's P.O.V.

I woke up and looked around, Ross wasn't here... I didn't want him leaving me, I can't let him get hurt... I know it was just a dream, well nightmare... but still. Lately my nightmares have become far to close to reality. I can't let Ross get hurt like that... I can't, and won't let him die...

The pain in my chest is almost unbearable at the thought of Ross dying. I would be incredibly lost... I don't even know if I could make it myself... Ross is my everything, my only constant in life... and I know he loves me just as much as I do him. I can see it in his eyes...

It's strange to think someone could love me like he does... that someone could love me at all... I mean, I'm a total wreak. I'm an idiot, I use to cut myself... which now... I find stupid... It did relieve the pain of all the stress and hurt... but I scared myself... and others... 

I've tried to commit suicide... well only once... and I don't even know what I was thinking. I was crazy at that, a lunatic who kept hurting herself... and the people around me. But I understand why I even did it in the first place, considering everything that has happened in my life since my parents split. Since Ev came into the picture... 

It seems as if I'm afraid of everything, afraid of the people, afraid of this world, afraid to show who I really am, instead I keep it all locked inside. I am afraid... I guess you can say, but at the same time, I'm not. When it comes down to protecting the people that I love... I will do anything. Especially for Ross and of course his family. Everyone... everyone of them, they are all like my own family. and In ways, they are family to me. I feel at home here, with them. I feel like they somewhat know who I really am... Why am I so afraid? what is there to be afraid of? 

I sigh and get out of bed, I head into the bathroom to brush my hair and teeth. I grab some clothes from my bag and throw them on. just regular jeans and sweatshirt. When the cold water splashes against my face I feel refreshed. I gently dab the towel over my face and one image... a single image pops into my head. 

I can see Ross... laying there with his throat... with his throat... cut open... I gasp and drop the towel to my feet. I look around and take deep breaths to calm myself. I decide not to put any make up on today so I make my way downstairs.

As I reach the bottom of the steps, Riker, Ryland, Ross, and Ellington are standing by the door slipping on their shoes and jacket. Riker smiles at me and waves his hand. I return the smile and wave then walk over.

"hey." I quietly say.

"hey babe. uh we're gonna head out for a bit, Rydel's went shopping with mom. She wanted to invite you but didn't want to wake you. Dad's at work for the day but will be back late tonight. Rocky is here, I don't know if he's going anywhere. We'll be back soon, just going to hang with some friends we haven't seen in a while." Ross tells me. I nod, he walks closer to me and wraps his arms tightly around me. He looks into my eyes as he rubs my sides gently. "do you want to come?" he asks.

"no, no. go have fun." I smile.

"are you sure? I don't want to leave if you don't want me too." He takes his bottom lip between his teeth.

"yes I'm sure. Go have fun. I'll be here." I assure him.

"alright. If you need anything, please call me.' he says and presses his lips against mine. When he pulls away he gently touches my cheek and looks into my eyes. 'I love you." 

"I love you too!" I reply and watch them leave. Ross looks back at me before getting in the car. I wave to him as their car disappears down the road. I walked back inside and grabbed a bowl of cereal then sat down at the dinning room table. As I began to eat Rocky walked down giving me a dirty look then disappearing into the kitchen. What was that all about?