I hate you, I love you too (Leonardo x reader)

Just hold on

(HELLO MY MUTANTS, I'm early I know but I'm also really bored at home. so here ya go and I'm going to go watch a bunch of movies and cry a little)

LEO POV

We were able to get mikey home without much fuss, donnie was in the lab with him the now taking care of his wounds.

 I leaned on the wall outside the lab as i waited for Donnie, but I was also think of (y/n), the pain I felt when I let her go off was still here but It seemed to be getting worst "leo?" I was brought out of my thoughts when raph spoke to me. He was on the couch with his head in his hands "yeah raph?" i answered but i didnt move off the wall, I didn't even look to him "what the hell just happened man. We were just getting things together. How did this happen?!" he stood up and faced me, i didn't have the energy to fight him the now.

I sighed as i pushed of the wall "raph... I... have no idea ,alright. Can we... ahh, just focus on mikey right now" i said as i went towards the dojo, i needed to take my anger out on something "BULLSHIT!. You're saying to focus on mikey but what about your girl. DON'T TELL ME YOU AIN'T WORRIED ABOUT HER, she just gave her life up for our brother and YOU don't have a plan to get her back.... y'know.. if it was Kri, i would stop at nothing to get her back-" I had enough of him. I turned to face him "DO YOU THINK I DON'T WANT HER BACK. I DO, god i have gone through so many solutions to get her back... I would run right in a take her into my arms, but... i can't do that, i would be risking our family, maybe... end up getting her k-killed" my breathing fastened as i yelled at him but i controled my anger by taking deep breaths.

Raph walked over to me as he placed a hand on my should "leo... we're brothers, im up for helping you get her back, cuz i know you'd do that same for me. Come on, stop thinking so damn much. (y/n) needs you" i was suprised by this, raph was the one who hated the idea of being friends with her at the start. Now hes pushing me to go save (y/n).

I sighed as i though over "no i-its to dangerous. I can't place you or the others under that pressure" suddenly the door to the lab opened "hehe please, i think OUCH i-i can take them" i looked to see mikey leaning on donnie, smiling at me, he was badly bruised up.

We ran over to them "no mikey, you're to banged up" raph said as he took him from donnie "but i wanna helppp!" he whined but raph just told him off as he took mikey to his bedroom. I looked to donnie as he gave me a sad smile "i don't know what to do donnie... (y/n), i- i cant just leave her, she need our help but.. " i said as i looked to the floor, "well, i think we should do what raph said." i looked to him, he smiled as he place a hand on my shoulder "leo, when (y/n) first came here... s-she was... cold to us, but with you... we could see (y/n) took a liking to you. Over time she warmed up to each of us, she became part of this family" donnie was right, she did develop a bond with everyone.

Leo sighed as he looked away "she didnt even give it a second thought about surrendering. She said she would do it in the second i told her" i felt a cold feeling in my stomach, it felt empty, lonely.

I looked up to see both raph and splinter coming in "Leonardo, tell me... do you love (y/n)?" he asked as he came over. I was a little stunned by this question, but then it hut me, i never really said it out loud but i never thought of it either "aint in obvious, he's over heels for that girl" raph laughed as he came forward. I looked over o him before turning back to splinter "well leonardo?" he asks me. I took a breath in "i.. yes, sensai... I do love her" he smiled as he nodded to me. He came closer , i kneed down "my son, in love... this is a jorney you must take alone, leonardo. (y/n) is a strong one, but right now... she is in need of your help" he looked to donnie and raph "your brothers are willing to help. Michelangelo will remain here" splinter said as he looked back to me.

I stood up "thank you master splinter" i bowed to him but he held up his hand "no leonardo, you knew what you had to do. Your heart told you... now go" i nodded as i looked to my brothers, they smiled to me. Donnie got some tech that would help to get in and out and even quickly made up a kit to help (y/n), raph got smoke bombs . I started to formed a plan on how we would do this, when we would go, i was just hoping that in the hours she been there, that she was still holding on 'im coming for you (y/n), please just hold on).

(AHHHH RIGHT IN THE FEELS, so this is early, well I'm super i'll now and I cant even get out of bed.... oh no, so sad, how will I go on- YASSS but in the end I wish I would get better. I'm at college and they no likely with this whole staying off thing, so ahhhhhhhhhh)