Yes Daddy // h.s

2/ F O U R

. HARRY

The sun was setting down as I made my way through the park. My hand was in my pocket as the other held on to the suit hanging carelessly from my shoulder. My tie hanging loose around my neck and my hair messy as the wind blew through it.

The autumn leaves cracked beneath my shoes as I looked down at them.

I was meeting him here like we sometimes did.

I looked up, spotting him immediately sitting there alone on a bench under the blossom tree that was slowly being drained of color and turning completely brown.

A small smile formed on my lips when he noticed me too and waved at me, gesturing to the empty space beside him on the bench.

I made my way to him and sat down throwing my suit on the dusty bench.

"Well, look who's here." Clarke stated. I chuckled sarcastically and shook my head.

"Yeah. Figured I could visit you again." I said and looked ahead at the playground once silence settled.

Children running, laughing, playing with each other. Making sandcastles at the special area. Swinging on the swings yelling at their siblings to push them harder.

"What are you thinking about Harry?"

"I'm thinking about how jealous I am of these kids. They don't know what life is. They don't know what's waiting for them in the future. They don't know how hard it is and it will be when they grow up." I said lowly.

"And sometimes when we sit here just staring at the kids, I wonder what could've happened if she was around. If we were still together. If I was one of the people pushing the swings and laughing at my own child." I said feeling a lump rise in my throat.

"I can't help but imagine how different my life would've been without her before and with her now. I miss her Clarke. I really do." I said, feeling my eyes getting watery as I quickly blinked the tears away.

He said nothing. It was just silence as we admired the fresh air and the autumn breeze.

"On her 18th birthday," He started but paused only to look down. "I knew I had lost her. I had lost my baby. That was the moment when I realized she was gone and never coming back." You could hear the pain in his voice.

I knew he had been through a lot. I knew he was dying inside. I knew he blamed himself for every single thing that went wrong. I knew because that was exactly how I felt too.

"But then I remember what a shitty father I was, and I can't, I just can't," he paused again swallowing hard as his voice cracked. "Wipe away the image of her crying face, crawling away from me and out of our house."

"Isn't 6 years enough time to move on?" I asked after a long pause.

"Not if you don't want to." He said, averting his gaze.

I never imagined myself in this situation. I thought that by now I would have found someone else. Someone I loved deeply and to no end. Again. Someone I wanted to live with happily ever after. Someone I would live in a house with, a simple messy apartment would do too. And we would have food fights in the kitchen, we would have dance parties at night in the dim light of the refrigerator, someone who would be angry at me, who I could have small fights with, someone I could wrap my arms around without being scared that they would push me away. I thought I would find that someone after her. I thought I would move on. But boy, I was wrong.

It was now me that didn't have anything to say. I didn't know what to say. I just wanted to stay quiet forever. Just thinking and thinking

He had changed a lot since I talked to him. I had a fight with him at first to be honest. I yelled at him for being a shitty father to her and for every wrong thing he had done that led to this. And he decided to change for the better.