There are times in my life where I feel ridiculously lonely, and with no given reason. I am surrounded constantly with people I love, my family and friends, yet sometimes as stupid as it sounds I feel like there is something missing from my life. This loneliness creeps up on my at the most unexpected times, and I almost feel my body becoming more limp when I do.
Sometimes I feel like love will fill this void, that a relationship that has a deeper meaning will make me feel less lonely. Sometimes I feel as though I should spend some more time working on myself, and that reaching my ideals will fill the loneliness. But sometimes I think that this loneliness is just ingrained in me, and that I've always been wanting more.
Maybe I just feel as though I should have something more because I'm always told that a romantic relationship makes you 'whole'. That getting someone to love me even when I don't fully love myself will sort my life out. And I don't know if there is any truth in that, but I can't help craving someone to hold me in a way that not everyone does. Someone who sees a deeper side of me, someone whose heart belongs to me.
Maybe this loneliness is normal. Maybe everyone feels it. But recently I've been feeling extremely alone, even though I'm surrounded and talk to all these great people. I sit and lay in bed until the early hours of the morning and picture things that I wish would happen. And I feel like that isn't exactly normal to be craving other things so much.
I don't really know if this was of any interest to you, but I felt like writing it down. What rants would you like to see next?
