I have a lot of great people in my life; my friends and family are such great people and I honestly don't know how I deserve them. But there are just some people I know, and some people I used to think were my friends, who have zero regard for the feelings of other people.
They just don't seem to grasp the concept that their words and actions actually affect people, and can really hurt. Especially when people say stuff online, that's when it cuts the worst because you know they would never say that in real life.
People can be cruel, that's something I've learnt the hard way. People will lie to you, deceive you, and yet you sometimes still want to go back to them. You want to change them. Make them better. Toxic relationships with people (not just romantic ones) can hurt so goddamn bad and yet for some reason my stupid ass can't let go. It's this whole thing of feeling worthless, so worthless you'd put up with people consistently stamping down on you.
I'm only starting to learn to stick up for myself, to not let others hurt me, and to leave people who don't care about me in the past. I know I always seem happy, both online and in real life, but we all have our bad days. The scars may not be physical but mental ones can be just as deep. Who knows? Maybe one day those people won't mean anything to me in the way I never meant anything to them.
