Red Vs Blue Texts (on hiatus)

felix to locus

A/N: i fucking hate myself i somehow always end up back in the rvb fandom bc of the most random shit 😂😂😂

established lolix in this chapter, like that's such a surprise lmao
also LOOOTS of cursing curtesy of felix

also also idk if it's specifically stated in canon, but i headcanon locus as hispanic so that's a thing 👌

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[fave douchebag <3]
Today 1:21 AM

hey ya gay you want taco bell

Felix.

We've talked about this

about calling you a gay

It is 1 am. I have work in a few hours, I'm trying to sleep.

call in sick

do you want fake mexican food or not asshole

If you insist...

Get me a tostada

fucking gross

what about those stupid cinnamon things you like

Yes

baja blast

Is that a question?

yes you dickhead do you want a damn baja blast

Yes

see that wasnt so hard

You're the one that refuses to use punctuation.

it takes too long

Because having to send multiple texts to let me know that you are indeed asking a question doesn't?

yes because i bet it took you like 5 minutes to write that sentence so fuck off

still cant believe you actually want taco bell

You're the one that asked me if I wanted it.

yeah i know i mean like

ya damn spanish fuck you cant like fake mexican food from taco bell

thats like against the rules or something

I am unsure whether I should consider that racist or not

you probably should

sorry im an asshole

but not really

I'm going to disregard that

probably for the best

Wake me up when you get here, I'm going back to sleep

dude then youll feel even worse when you have to wake up in 30 minutes

And whose fault is that?

okay whatever i will wake you up in the most annoying and loudest way possible

You do that already

shut up fucker

That one was creative

oh my god

ive run out of insults to use on you what a sad day

ill have to come up with more

Please don't.

well then i really have to now because itll annoy you

I'm going back to sleep.

fine be that way im only bringing you sustenance

I highly doubt drive-thru food counts as sustenance.

close enough

If you say so

Try not to text and drive.

aww look at you caring about my wellbeing

I take it back

rude what the fuck

You ruined the moment

what moment

ugh nevermind

im on my way to your place

Door is locked. You know where the key is.

um yeah its on my keychain

You stole my extra house key?

i needed it and you never use it

I'm honestly not surprised.

yeah seems legit now stop texting me im driving

You're the one that keeps replying.

because you keep texting back!!

just let me have the last word dammit

ily you fuck

Love you too.

ooooooh my god okay thanks now quit responding jeez

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A/N: apparently taco bell is the only food felix eats bc i always write him getting it sorry not sorry (i really want taco bell now *tear*)
i'm also sorry not sorry that this chapter ended up being pretty long.

okay y'all i'm actually supposed to be on hiatus but couldn't help myself and had to post this before i randomly fall out of the fandom again lmao

~+~ requests are closed until further notice ~+~

☆ agentwashingt0n