Turn It Up

Insight

Leah's visit with Fergal was short lived. After she finished her story to Fergal about Pam; she rose to her feet. "I have to go Ferg. I have an appointment to get my hair done in about twenty minutes, I don't wanna spend your whole day off annoying you. If you need someone, please text me. Okay?" She leaned down and hugged the wounded Irishman tight. "You got it lass, please enjoy your day and if I need to talk, you'll be the first person I contact. Take care of yourself." Leah smiled at his ever so kind words and left his apartment. Fergal felt a little empty now, Leah actually genuinely loved him as if he was her brother, and he loved her as if she was his sister. They bonded over Pam. They got closer because of her, and now that Fergal and Pam really aren't together? It pained him to even really see Leah. 'Baymella' was the tagline, and every single time he saw Leah that is LITERALLY all he thought about. To not think about Mercedes when he saw Pam was another task. 'Baysha' was just as popular, and it was a lot more difficult a pill to swallow. The weird thing about life is that most of the time it does indeed work out for the better. Typically speaking, things work themselves out for the better and time heals all wounds. But if that is traditionally true, then why is it that time is only making these wounds that Fergal has had inflicted upon him worse..? He was alone in his apartment. The WWE Universal Champion had a day off and there was no media to speak of. At around nine in the morning, Fergal felt something in his apartment and he was getting irritated. The temperature was drastically getting higher and higher. Being in the middle of summer, it wasn't surprising. But he had central air. That shit was set to a cool sixty eight degrees. Fergal was the kind of person who enjoyed the cold. His thoughts about the weather was always, 'If it's too hot? You can only get so naked. Too cold? Add more clothes.' And that made sense, besides. Nobody liked to sweat. He literally had to sweat every single time he went into work.. Why should he sweat his ass off at home too? He got up all frustrated and angry, walking over to his thermostat and seeing the temperature was seventy six. He immediately got more irritated due to the fact that it still said cool on it. He tapped it a few times just to see if it would.. Oh I don't know, kick on. But after it didn't work he walked back over to the sofa and grabbed his cell phone, texting his landlord and mentioning how the air conditioner was not working and how it was entirely unacceptable. He paced around his apartment, only making himself hotter..

    Finally after about ten minutes the landlord texting him back stating that there is a guy on the way. Fergal set his phone down and looked around his apartment, it was clean. Boring almost. There was no life in this whole building besides him and he was unsure if that made him sad, or made him feel good. Being alone is good sometimes, you can gather your thoughts, feelings, things that you need to pick up if you have so happened to drop. Being alone makes it easy to see things clearly. But, for Fergal? He was alone so long that all it did was frighten him, fear eventually gravitates towards hate.. And although Fergal was not a hateful person, you can be only be scared and alone so long before it evolves into hatred for everything around you. Fergal heard a knocking on his door. He hated this, this kind of house call bullshit was so annoying and it happened so damn much it almost made him sick. He considered briefly to NOT answer the door, or even show he was inside the dimly lit apartment. But Fergal, again, was no asshole. He walked over to the door and cracked it open, it could have been anyone, honestly.

    Oh. Well this was unexpected. He saw a pink head in the doorway, wearing a long sleeve shirt to cover the potential giant bandages on her arms. Fergal closed his eyes tight, he was unsure whether or not he wanted to be happy she was out of the hospital, or resentment for her acting the way she did. Like a child almost. He fully opened the door. "Well. Hi there. What are you doing here?" Mercedes looked down, being put on the spot was not her favorite thing but hey! Shit happens. "I just wanted to talk to you. I feel like you above all other people deserve some kind of explanation." Fergal sighed, he was visibly not wanting to have this conversation. He could only think about Pam, he remembered all the good old days that they had before these petty quarrels happened on a daily basis. "C'mon in.." Fergal moved out of the way and Mercedes entered his extremely warm house. "Holy shit it's hot in here.. Why don't you have.." She heard the air conditioning running and stopped. "Oh.. It's broken isn't it." After she spoke, Fergal nodded and sat down in his recliner. "What do you want to say, Mercedes..?" She sat down near him, but trying to keep her distance. "I have a few things I.. I need to get off of my chest and um. Thank you so much for hearing me out." Fergal nodded and didn't say a word. He was not a bitter person, he didn't blame her for what she did to his relationship. Honestly she was in love, or still is. He has no resentment towards her for that, I mean the heart wants what the heart wants, right? "I um. I first want to start off by addressing what.. Beef me and Lexi have.. Okay it started when we were all in NXT. And.. She got there all nice and whatever.. But she then started getting so much attention. So much of.. Your.. Attention. And um. I just couldn't help it. I began to seriously dislike her and I ruined a friendship. We were close at one time, really close actually. But then you guys became like, besties. And if I'm being completely honest with myself? I'm a jealous bitch. I hated seeing some beautiful little blonde girl become best friends with the guy I was head over heels in love with.. So I lashed out on her, I bullied her and I.. I hurt her. She will never forgive me, and now that this crap we have against each other is all over the internet? I will never be forgiven by the fans, the whole world knows what a scumbag I am.." She looked down, Fergal was unaware of the actual beef they had together which was entirely real. He remembers the things she was talking about and it was at this time where she began to cry silently. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked down. "Hey. Don't cry. I understand the feeling. Your heart wanted something.. And honestly Mercedes? If you loved me so much why on Earth did you wait until I was engaged to tell me. We were in NXT together for actual years. I mean years years. Not a year. YEARS.. So why did it take you until now..?"

    Such a simple question with such an absolutely atrocious answer. "U-um. You were my dream guy. You were my baby boo. I didn't want to tell you because, I mean dude do you remember me back then? I weighed all of ninety pounds, I had really annoying hair that was a typical basic color, I was so shy I'm surprised we even got as close as we did. Lexi just seemed to fit your mold. I was actually shocked with Pammie when you guys started dating, I thought it was going to be you and Lex. Honest to god everyone did, dude." Mercedes was giving Fergal some honest insight to what the rest of the boys and girls in back thought and he was finding it quite interesting. "I understand. But know this; for the record I always thought you were an incredible human being. I never knew this shit with Lexi and honestly I understand why you did what you did. I don't condone it. But I understand it." Fergal spoke quietly, reassuring almost.

    "But one thing bothers me about you." Fergal spoke yet again, before she could continue. "What is it?" She looked up and bit down on the inside of her cheek. "Why is it that you guys always call yourselves ugly?" Fergal was getting so annoyed with this, and considering how the temperature in his apartment was only climbing, it only exasperated his anger and frustration. "Well you. You women of the WWE. You ALWAYS think you're ugly. You, Pam, Lexi, Becks, Savelina, everyone I talk to always say that you find yourselves ugly. I don't get it. I will never.. Get it. You are some of the most beautiful people on the planet. I say people because I'm comfortable with who I am. But I don't get it. Is it an attention thing? I'm being serious here." Fergal was genuinely annoyed and curious why it seemed like the women of the WWE always were fishing for compliments, Mercedes shook her head. "We all don't fish for compliments, dude. We, at least me personally. I've been told my entire life that I am in fact not attractive, I am too small, I don't have the curves of a woman. And comparing myself to Pam, Lexi, Savelina, Becky. I don't. I'm still barely pushing a hundred and ten pounds and I can barely keep my butt here. We don't fish, we feel it.." Fergal nodded, just looking for clarification. "Is that all you wanted to talk about, Mercedes?" He asked her kindly. She shook her head, "N-no.." She had to remove her long sleeve shirt and exposed her bandaged arms. The black tank top she wore had the Demon logo Fergal helped create. "Nice shirt." He added with a smile. She smiled back, "Thanks boo. But.. This. These wounds I did to myself. I um. I just didn't feel like there was anything left in this world for me. I did what I wanted to do with my career, my love life is still in shambles. All I have left is.. What? I lost you, lost Pam, lost Lexi. You guys were my favorite people, and Lexi I completely threw away, I wouldn't be surprised if she never forgives me. I still have feelings for you, Fergal. I wanted to formally apologize for this." She held up her arms, "And asking you to come back with me.. Because I know how it looked.. B-but.. I didn't want to have sex with you. I wanted to confess how I feel in detail and be told for ONCE that I'm not a monster.. Or an asshole for just having that kind of thought." Fergal shook his head, "You're right. By the way, don't cry.. It did look awful on your part. And you won't be forgiven easily by Lexi. What you've done to us is wrong, I've seen the shit posting on Twitter about you blasting fans in a joking, sarcastic way. Look I get all of that. You aren't an absolute piece of shit. Okay? You act out, you say things you don't mean as harshly as they come out. You just need to self evaluate and figure out what you want in life. Me and Pam are.. I don't know, we're split up right now. But I still love her, and I have never stopped caring for you either. You are my friend."

    Fergal's kind words and delivery made Mercedes actually stop crying. There was a knocking on his door and Fergal rose to his feet. "That must be the air conditioning guy." he walked passed her and patted her shoulder, "Try to focus on slowing down your breathing, lass. I'm practically a professional at handling anxiety attacks now." How Fergal functioned is that he needed to be at peace with being alone with his problems before he can fix them and be happy with someone else. He had finally reached that tranquil place in his mind and there was nothing that could stop it. He opened the door fully and.. That wasn't the air conditioning guy.. "Hi Fergal.." It was Pam.. "Hi.." Fergal responded. This was going to look SO BAD. Mercedes rose to her feet, seeing Pam she darted right over to her and hugged her so tightly. Pam began to tear up, these last few weeks were so hard on everyone.. It was about time to mend the wounds.