Turn It Up

All Is Not Lost

Two days have passed. It was the day. THE day.. Pam was not prepared. She woke up promptly at five in the morning and just laid there, staring up at the ceiling. She was wondering if Fergal even missed her at all, she wondered if he would even react upon laying eyes on her for the first time in quite a while. She felt her stomach turn, her heartbeat quickened and she felt a cold sensation in her lungs. Pam was afraid. She sat up slowly, her hair was not that messed up, considering how she just woke up from a restless sleep. This was not something she was going to be ready for. She secretly hoped she wouldn't even run into Fergal at all today, perhaps she can just avoid him, avoid Alexis, avoid everyone and just go back to work. Was that the best course of action for her? Was letting Fergal go the smartest thing for her to really do.. All she felt like she was to him was toxic, she felt like she did nothing good for him and only drug him down further into her madness and further into her bullshit. Pam rubbed her eyes slowly, but firmly. She wanted to know where her life was going and getting back to work was the first step in hopefully redeeming herself to those she loved most. She hadn't spoken to April in a while too, being a little odd of her to just up and vanish like that. April was one of the most loyal people that Pam knew, and she began to slightly worry about her tiny skipping friend. Pam got out of bed and adjusted her pants, they managed to be crooked due to her rolling around and she hobbled into the bathroom to begin getting ready for the day. She had planned on taking her sweet ass time waking up, she looked at herself in the mirror and noted the bags under her eyes, as well as them being bloodshot as all hell. Pam wanted to be happy about possibly seeing Fergal today, but she really didn't know how well it would even go. To her knowledge, they weren't even dating anymore, not engaged. Nothing with him was certain anymore, he could hate her for all she knew. After Pam rubbed the sleepies out of her eyes, she got the shower ready for her to officially wake up. She got into the hot shower after sliding out of her sleepwear and felt incredible as the warm water beat on her body. The muscle relaxation that a shower offered was incredible, and now she was finally relaxing. After she got out, she thought about what was next. Her hair was first. It was quite easy for her on this day to get her hair all situated. Sometimes hair just doesn't feel like cooperating, well.. Luckily for her, today was not that day. She got it all straight and rather lovely looking. Pam smiled at her work and began to apply some makeup. She never really wore a shit ton of makeup, but she had to wear at least some. Ten careful minutes passed by and Pam was done with her face.

    Pam was actually happy with how she looked today, her eyebrows looked great. Her hair looked amazing and soft. Her makeup was simple, but adorable. She was totally pleased with herself right now. She got out of the bathroom and scanned through her clothes. It wasn't time to wear like a prom dress or anything. So she stuck with something inconspicuous. Black leggings, coupled with a black tank top with a dark blue light zip up hoodie to throw over top of it. Pam was ready for the day. She was ready to go to the show and luckily for her it was around seven in the morning. So she had time to do her other running around, possibly getting in contact with people like April, and Alexis beforehand. This was a good idea primarily due to the fact that she could not only makeup with them, but she could also try and ask how Fergal was doing. Which above all else was her first, and most important task of the day; Make sure he's doing well.

    Pam grabbed her phone and called Alexis, might as well start out with the second most difficult task of the day; making up with Alexis. She lightly paced around her room, after several rings she almost lost hope. But just as the last one rang off, a tiny voice answered the phone. "H-hello? Pammie?" Alexis clearly held no grudge against Pam, and that was such a relief. "Hey hey girl! How are you? You aren't busy are you?" Pam felt bad about potentially bothering the shit out of Alexis. "No no, I was just finishing my makeup. Why? What's up? You okay?" Alexis was obviously concerned with Pam all the time, especially now a days. It was expected, honestly. "No, I'm okay. I just wanted to know if you were down for like, getting coffee and maybe breakfast?" Pam's request kind of caught Alexis off guard a little bit. Alexis put down her brush, "Well sure! Let me just get into clothes I can go into public with and I'll meet you? Just text me where you wanna go, I'll Maps it." Alexis smiled and felt a weird, somewhat old, somewhat new level of excitement for this. Pam smiled too, "Okay! You do that. I'll see your cute little butt soon!" Pam hung up and looked through the several adorable little places that her and her tiny friend could go to. She found one, and sent the address to Alexis. Who opened her iMessage instantly and smiled, 'I know the place. See you soon, babe!' Alexis texted her back and ran over to her closet in a crazy sort of excitement. Luckily, they were in Florida right now, so Alexis and Pam were both respectfully home. Matt was just waking up and he looked at Alexis who slid out of her sleepwear and he had to make a joke. "Whoa. What did I do right to earn seeing this when I wake up?" Alexis turned, blushed lightly and giggled. "Oh hush up babe. First off all you have to do to see me like this.. Is ask like a good boy. And second, I'm looking for a cute outfit. Me and Pamela are getting breakfast and I think this is the start of something good for her." Matt sat up, he hadn't forgiven Pam for what she did to Alexis. "Are you serious? You can't.. Be serious right? She tried to actually kill you, and you're gonna go share pancakes with her today?" Matt was entirely in the right, being the concerned fiancé and all. Alexis stopped grabbing clothes and walked slowly over to him. "Look.. I know what Pam did was deplorable.. But she's better now. I know this for a fact.. Please trust me." Alexis slowly climbed into bed next to him, Matt slowly placed a hand on her bare side. "I just worry about you, Lex. Sometimes you put everyone else before yourself. And that is lovely and all.. But, you really could have had serious brain damage from that shot. It was malicious, calculated.. Intentional. I'm just afraid of something like that happening again." Matt's words struck a chord in Alexis.

    "I-I know. I remember. The look in her eyes.. That fire I've never seen before. It was terrifying. I had no idea it was coming.. A-and I understand why you'd be afraid. But, please give her another chance baby boy.." Alexis leaned down more, almost laying on him partially, she placed a hand on his cheek and softly rubbed it with her thumb. Matt was gently stroking her side, he obviously had no say in the matter of whether or not she could go, but he could and would express extreme concern for forgiving someone who did THAT to her. "Alright.. I trust you. But that does NOT mean I forgive her, nor do I trust her. But, for you.. I'll give her another chance." Alexis smiled, leaned up more and softly pressed her cold lips against his warm ones. After the long kiss broke, she smiled again, "Thank you for this.." She slid out of bed and walked back to the closet, continuing to look for a cute little outfit for this breakfast get together. Matt watched as she walked off, but his mind could not shy away from what Pam has done..

    Alexis finished getting ready, she slid nicely into a little black dress and was ready to be off. Pam was already there, freaking Pam. Always so early to the party that it hadn't even started yet and she was there. "I'll text you when I get there. I love you baby." Alexis turned back and saw that look on his face, he was so concerned about this. "Be safe. I love you too." Matt was notorious for being a man of many words.. So when he was NOT talking a whole lot?.. That drew concern from Alexis. She reluctantly left and made her way over to the little restaurant. Upon arriving, she saw Pam who locked eyes with Alexis. The two women smiled huge, and ran over to each other. Pam lifted Alexis off of the ground and spun her around. "Pammie Pammie Pammie! I'm in a dress! My whole butt is about to show!" Pam slowly put Alexis down after she said that, Pam giggled. "Sorry! I just missed you a whole lot!!" Pam hugged Alexis, who promptly wrapped her arms around Pam tightly. "I missed you too.." After this adorable little exchange, they went inside and sat down. Both ordering coffee, Alexis of course got her iced coffee. They made some small talk, Pam saw that Alexis held no grudge against her which was so refreshing. It was time.. "So how is Fergal.. I know you've at least seen him.." Pam asked the question.. Alexis didn't really have the answer that she needed however; "Honestly I've seen him once in about.. Two weeks? And all he talked about was as soon as he loses the title, he's going on a vacation. That's about it. He's been a ghost backstage. He looked so tired when I saw him.." Pam hung her head, that was a clear indicator that as well as she was doing.. Fergal was on the opposite end of the spectrum. Pam didn't want to know that, well she did. But she didn't want it to be true. "I see.. I was.. Only wondering because I'm going in today to get my last few check ups done and then I can go back on the road with you guys." Pam spoke with.. Negative excitement about her pending return to work. Pam looked at the time and saw she had to leave soon. "Do you have to go in? We've been here for like over a half hour already.. My goodness gracious time is not trying to cooperate with me right now." Alexis finished her coffee off and looked at Pam, "Yeah I have to go in. Wanna go together?" She asked nicely with a big smile on her face. Pam nodded slowly and they got up. Pam put some money down to pay for their drinks, and just like that. They were off to work. Upon arrival, everybody greeted them with open arms. People were hugging the hugger left and right.. Pam was relieved to know that the locker rooms haven't turned their backs to her just yet. They were all so happy to see her..

    But that isn't what Pam was concerned with, she was concerned with one man. One incredible, broken, mysterious man who evaded people as best as he possibly could. Pam was almost certain now that there was some kind of burning fire inside of Fergal's heart for him to go to this extent to avoid social interaction. He was the lifeblood of any locker room he has ever been in.. And for him to NOT be that? It was weird, almost like the leader had retired and there was nobody leading the charge anymore. After a while of looking, Pam looked at Alexis, "Maybe he isn't here today.." Alexis shook her head at Pam, "No no no he's here. I promise you that.. Are.. are you sure you're ready to see him?" Alexis asked one final time. It was only inevitable that they would see him.. Just a matter of when. "I am very ready for this.." Pam responded firmly. They scoured the backstage area looking for him.. Finally. Just before her appointment was set to start, Pam hugged Alexis getting ready to walk in. "We'll find him." Alexis whispered. Pam's eyes widened. Just down the hall Fergal turned and locked eyes with Pam, she raised a hand and waved at him. Fergal kept his shell-shocked gaze fixed upon her for a moment, he wiggled his fingers at her, apparently waving back. But then he darted off and disappeared..