Passion of the Soul (formerly known as Love Has No Color)

Chapter 44

(Not Edited) 

(Hi everyone, I made this chapter longer just for you' all; so please vote to show your appreciation.) 

"Over the course of the next few months" Chad stayed away from Florida...or more like me." He said it was work reasons why he spends four weeks at a time outside the state or country." I didn't read too much into his reason" we've talked everyday on the phone, sometimes late at night." And that's because it depends on where Chad was during those times." He was now one of the International marketers..." this new schedule takes him around the world..." (Or more like the top countries in the world.)

"Ian and I continued to work and hangout whenever we get the chance to do so." Chad would tell me during our phone conversation...' Ian said he was making sure I'm safe until his returned." But as always we denied that we were anything else more than best friends to anyone who thinks differently."

"Right after the summer holiday Chad make it a point of his duty to enrolled me into Nova University, for a twelve months course," to get my business finance degree and business management." his reasons are...' for me to farther myself in the business." I didn't argue with him this time." I told him how appreciative I was to him for doing this for me." That's what friends are for J, he simply replied."

"My new schedule...' I went to school four days a week" Monday to Thursday for six hours," from eight am to two pm." And then I would spend four hours at the office, even on the one day I was away from school." Chad said I will need the time to study and do home works." I thought I could handle it by doing a full day on my day off from school." But once again Chad was right." I was happy for the studying time." The only issue for me..." was that I felt a little guilty my pay check hasn't change and I was doing less work at the company."

"I was seeing less and less of Chad...' as the four weeks would turns into six, and sometimes eight weeks." I find out, instead of me missing him, and not being able to hang out with him on the weekends." I buried myself into my studies and work at the office." "That day at his house when he told me about his family cursed" was the last day we were intimate with each other." But I would be lying if I say I didn't miss that closeness with Chad." A part of me wanted him in that way...while the other part is saying, it's for the best." Not because of the cursed..."but simply because I'm scared for my heart."

"All I know is...' for years now, I've locked my heart from this kind of love and emotions." And now I've found the perfect guy to unlock it for..."only to find out he can't love anyone." I was feeling sad and relief at the same time" because deep down if I admit it to myself..." I was in love with Chad." (That was the sad part.) But on the other hand...' I didn't need to open up and let him in" I can keep this love for him hidden deep inside." (That was the relieving part.)  

"Chad skipped coming to Florida during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday season." I didn't quiz him and why he didn't want to come home for the holiday." (My guess is that...these are the two most important holidays, when family and close friends spend memorable times together.) 

"I can't say I wasn't disappointed when he told me he wasn't spending the holiday here" but he's dead serious about not getting two close with anyone." He believes..." so strongly that he will bring harm to them." We didn't see each other for the Christmas holiday, but we never fail to exchange gifts with each other."

"Ian wanted to assured me it's not personal, why Chad had stayed away for the holiday." I told him I didn't take it personal...'of course I believe I'm the reason, but Ian didn't need to know that." Days turn into weeks and weeks turns into months, without Chad blessing us with his presence" and Ian seem to think... (He's right.) Chad's staying away because he can no longer control his feelings towards me, without expressing them physically with me." (He would be amused to know how truthful his statement is...I said in my head.)