Passion of the Soul (formerly known as Love Has No Color)

Chapter 58 Unedited

Chad couldn't get to his car fast enough, needing to get out of there, before he passed out. For one moment, he thought she was playing some sick joke on him. It had to be a joke, cause' there's no way in hell the girl he had met and gotten to know so well, could be so cruel. No, no, the J he knows" was the most wonderful person he has ever met in his life, no doubt about it.

(He needs to believe this!)

Speeding on the road having no set destination as to where he was heading. He was blinded by pain and confusion. He let his mind wonder back to the whole conversation," every word she had said to him since sitting at the bar he replay back in his mind" word for word. He sat there listening to her saying the guy who was with them in Italy a couple months ago. And he thought to himself at the time" oh no please don't leave me! It was too soon, I need more time to figure out my feelings. But to his surprise, what she was saying and what he was hearing were two different things. The words biological and father, got his senses back to listen to what she was really telling him. As soon as every word registers in his brain, he got scared and angry at the same time.

The anger took over when he realized she wasn't joking, or confuse like he had thought at first. He couldn't sit there any longer and let her finish, he really didn't want to hear what else she has to say. All he wanted to do to her was hurt her, as bad as she was hurting him right there. If she had left him, it would have hurt less than what she just told him.

His phone starts to ring; he didn't need to look at it, to know who was calling," the ring tone which was set to her name breaking through his confusing mind.

All the pain and anger came rushing back at him full speed. Not wanting to talk to her at all he didn't answer the phone," the realization of what she told him was setting in. His girls now have a father, a fucking father who now knows that they exist. For thirteen years, these girls have been the best part of his life and now...

His phone start ringing again, this time he pick it up and press the ignore button.

Everything was rushing at him all at the same time..." Trying to figure out if what J had told him, was really possible" what does it mean now that the girls has someone else who they can call pops, and most importantly where does he stands in their lives now. With this realization the tears he has been holding back, since he enter the car, burst out unstoppable. He needs to pull off the road cause' he can hardly see the road through the tears. He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand so he can see more clearly. Pulling off to the side of the road, he put the car in park and switches off the engine.

God damn it! Fuck, fuck...'why it is hurting so damn much, he screams out loud. He pounds his hands on the stirring wheel and cry out from the painful feelings he was experiencing again from losing someone he cared for. It shouldn't be hurting like this..." he had let other's he cared for go before. He's used to these kinds of disappointments in his life. Why the fuck letting her go should be hurting him so much? It has been too long, since he feels this kind of pain" Ty had been dead long enough for him to forget how this heart wrenching pain of loss affects him like this again. He sat there as pain ripped through his hands from pounding them on the stirring wheel. His fingers were bloody and bruised, but nothing could be as painful as what J had done to him. Knowing if he doesn't take something, he'll surely go mentally insane. After clearing the tears from his face, he starts the car up and pulled back onto the road. This time he has a clear vision of his destination. Checking his location, it should take about six minutes to reach his house.

He pulled into his driveway, turn off the car, grab his cell phone and head straight for his front door, by now there was two miss calls from J. Knowing he wasn't going to talk to her at all he turn the phone off, and didn't even care he haven't park the car in the garage.