F R E E ✔ [completed]

Jayden:37

Jayden: 

I walked out of school avoiding all signs of Deja. I didn't want to see her, maybe I did, but I just wasn't ready to see her. I got into my car and banged my head on the steering wheel. I had a whole bunch of messages from her and missed calls. I just turned off my phone and tossed it in the glove compartment.

I turned the radio on, but all the songs they were playing reminded me a Deja. They reminded me of her voice, her smile, her contagious laugh that always gives me weird feelings in my stomach when I hear it. I turned off the radio and sat there in silence. I saw Deja walk out of the school. For the first time in forever, she walked home. The last time she was home was before I officially asked her out and I started picking her up for school.

I started the car and drove up to the spot. I shared lots of moments here with Deja, but I had moments of my own here way before that. I parked my car and got out. I sat on the hood of my car and just stared at the buildings that were like little ants. I liked being able to sit here and only hear the wind whistling through leaves in the trees.

I sat there for about 10 minutes before another car pulled up and parked next to mine. Tony got out and smiled.

"What's up?" I asked. 

"Nothing just came to enjoy the view," He said standing next to me. "You?"

"I need to think."

"About what?"

"Deja," I said. He laughed a little. "I'm always thinking about her, but this time, it's different. I want to be more to her than just a boyfriend. I want to increase the things I do for her."

"Is this about the locker?" He asked.

"Yes, it is."

"She gave Chloe all the stuff in the locker and told her she didn't want anything to do with any of it. She loves you, dude. And she wouldn't trade you for anything expensive. You're lucky to have someone love you like that."

"I just feel like I'm not doing enough," I said.

"Look, in all of my failed relationships... It's not that the guy isn't doing enough, it's the girl doesn't appreciate the fact that he's trying. And if Deja accepts you and loves you even though what you do may not be enough, it's enough for her."

"I shouldn't have yelled at her..." 

"Why did you?"

"She thinks I'm jealous that someone else is making her happy. It's partially true, but I'm more jealous because I'm not in her memory box."

"Memory box?"

"Yeah, she has a little box of things she wants to keep and remember for the rest of her life. And I'm not in it. It makes me jealous. She has a whole bunch of other things from guys in it, but there's nothing of me in it and I feel like she doesn't love me or doesn't want to remember me because I'm not in it."

"Deja's a really deep person and I know for a fact that you're somewhere else. Somewhere more important than her memory box. Trust me."

"What if she doesn't love me?" I asked.

"She loves you, trust me."

"It's a lot deeper than just the memory box."

I looked down at my hands and thought about what I wanted to tell Deja last night, but I got interrupted by the pizza delivery.

"Does she know?" He asked.

"Know what?"

"That you have-"