B.R.E.A.T.H.E

~Chapter 36~

~Li~

I got the call I've been waiting on for the last three weeks since she's been in hiding. I sat at the table waiting for her to come into the restaurant so I could see her. Cause honestly, I missed the hell out of her. I know what you thinking, I got a whole husband right! I know that. And I don't miss her in the sense that I want to be with her or anything like that, but in the sense that I've known this girl sense she was 12 years old. I was there for most of her formative years, the ups and downs, the many times when she could have made terrible decisions, when she tried to end her life on multiple occasions after the whole CJ fiasco. Yeah I kept a lot of shit from Tionne in regards to her but it was my job to make sure she was safe and not pregnant! Lawd knows she didn't need to be pregnant cause Tionne would have killed her ass and mine.

Gigi! Gigi! Merci said damn near tackling me off the chair. Hi baby! I missed you so much! I missed you too. Give me kisses! Hey buddy how are you I said Noah? I am good Titi he said smiling. Look at you getting all big. I know I am a big boy he said smiling showing his dimples. You're gonna break some hearts little boy. My eyes locked with hers and I knew this conversation was going to be different. Noelle! Lisa! Where are my babies? With Shawn over at home I didn't think this was the occasion to bring them to. Mhmp. You look good, are you healing properly now? Yeah I am still healing but I am good. Noelle I am sorry! I am so sorry for treating you that way. Merci and Noah go over there and play she said pointing to the little playground. But Mommy! Merci she said giving her the look. Gigi don't leave without saying bye. I won't I promise. She waited till they walked away before she spoke again.

Lisa I am in love in with you! Huh! I am in love with you and the way that our relationship is set up it takes everything in me not to want to tell you that every single day. When you told me, I was stupid you don't know how much that hurt me Lisa. It took me right back to being that young girl that no one wanted. It dawned me that after we slept together on multiple occasions that nothing between us will ever be the way I want it to be. Noelle what are you saying. I am saying Lisa that I can't keep doing this, fighting my feelings for you. Sharing my daughter as if we are co-parents just all of it. Noelle please don't do this. I have to do what's right Lisa and we have to separate whatever this is that we're doing. I was wrong for saying that you were stupid Noelle, because you aren't. I promise you aren't I said grabbing her hands. It's just a lot to take in, finding out that she's after you. I am scared for you Noelle. I am scared that they are gonna call me and say that something happened to you. You don't know the hell I went through those 2 years you were gone. Worrying about you every day. Praying to god that he'd protect you and let you be safe. I know our shit is complicated trust me I do but please don't do this to me. Don't do this to Merci! Please don't take her out of my life and I don't want to lose you either.

The tears fell down her face as she started at me through her sunglasses. She shook her head and tried to talk through the tears. I don't want to lose you either, but I can't keep hurting like this Lisa. Noelle you remember the day you came back to us? Yeah I do! That day you said something to me that I've never forgotten. What was that? You couldn't even see me but you felt me around you. I remember you saying clear as day "Lisa! Lisa I feel you". We're connected! We've always been connected Noelle and we always will be. I love you Noelle! I always have and I always will. I'd never said that aloud to anyone other than Tionne. She's the only one that really knew how I felt about Noelle. Talk about confused in love with 2 sisters and I can't have either of them go figure, but this is my lane and I gotta stay in it.

You know how long I've wait to hear you say those words? About 14 years possibly more. Definitely more she said smiling a little. Li I am so scared and I don't know what to do. Jamal was one thing but his mom is another. She gets off on killing and I am not strong enough to take her on. You know we got your back. Whatever you need we got you! I know! I know I just...I am so tired Lisa. I am just tired. I know baby girl. I want you to be the first to know that I am going to Cali for a little bit. California! Yeah I need to get my thoughts together I need to see Master Lee again. What about Merci and Noah? I am going to take them with me for a little bit. But I need a favor from you and Shawn. Anything! In two weeks I want you to come and get them. 2 weeks! Yeah I don't want them separated and I don't want it obvious that I am not in town. People will see them and assume I am somewhere around. I know you and Shawn will take care of them both. We will and you know Ro and Ti will as well. That's another thing if something should happen to me. No Noelle don't say shit like that. It's a real factor Lisa if something should happen to me she said pulling an envelope out of her purse. This is a copy of my will, I had it updated to include Noah and my mother Candace as well. If something happens, you make sure they are taken care of. Noelle! Lisa I am being smart about this, something happens I want to make sure she doesn't touch my children or the money that was meant for them.