A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

One dream can change it all...

The year that had passed filled Can's every night with unimaginable nightmares. No night spared his broken heart and battered soul...

Where Sanem lived with photographic memory, Can relived their last days filled with sorrow and pain each night in his dreams. Each dream began with them meeting Yigit. With a swift fast forward motion, the dream skipped through the moments when Sanem chose to leave the agency, when she accepted Yigit's offer to work for him, to write her book for him to publish, her complete oblivious actions so blinded by her innocence that she refused to see how his evil actions caused a widening rift, and finally the day it all ended...

That day filled with sorrow lasted for most of each night's dream. Can saw the pages he read in Sanem's diary, when he had read it all night into day, each written word reread ten-times fold, and when he left for more firewood. As a man with a strong belief of no regrets, that was his one regret his heart would never forget - that he left the notebook instead of taking it with him....

Through the eyes of his soul, he saw the confusion of seeing Yigit at the hut, through his heart he felt the anger, disgust, and rage when he saw him. And then all he could feel was a desperate despair when he saw Sanem's notebook engulfed in the flames. He burned his hand when he reached into the fire and pulled the notebook out. What he felt for saving the notebook which was damaged beyond saving, was nothing compared to what he felt when he saw Sanem worried only about Yigit. When they sat face to face at the hospital, Can realized that Sanem had closed herself off to him.

His soul yearned to be able to hear her soul's voice again. But all it could hear was deffening silence...

His heart yearned to be able to hear her heartbeat again. Yet that sound too no longer reached Can's ears..

The tears that fell upon his tired aching cheeks when he drove away from Sanem still burned in that spot, each night in his dreams. The tears of a man whose true love has been defeated burned like no other pain known on earth. And as that was the last thing he saw each night before drifting back to reality, that everso raw pain was always the first desperate emotion he felt when he woke up...

But somehow now the lucky stars that have brought him back to Sanem, found that his pain of the past nights had been enough, and the dream that came to him now after the hut had burned down brought with itself a new kind of love to fill his soul with hope again...

With his arms around a child, Can awoke to the sound of children's laughter. He woke up in his dream only to find three beautiful souls smiling back at him. His heart felt soo much at peace for realizing they were his children.

Then, suddenly, his heart skipped a beat, and corrected itself. They were THEIR children. He gazed upon Sanem only to find her so sweetly sleeping.

His fiery phoenix looked now as an angel. He looked back at their children. The happy trio chirped in unisom and all his heart felt now was complete and overpowering joy. Their eldest daughter was a true daddy's girls. She loved her father with the love only a firstborn daughter could feel - that complete trusting love and knowledge that her daddy was the kindest and best man on earth in all that he did. Their son was a true spirit  with love in his eyes, a mommy's son though all that he did. He inherited Sanem's love for the written word, and could spend hours listening to her goodnight read each night before bed. Their third child was a daughter, a true tomboy right through to the bone. The usual bruises and scrapes on her knees were a sign that she went everywhere with Can and proved she could be as strong as a boy. That spunk in her soul and sparkle in her eye were all Can Divit, and that gave him pride...

That feeling of love filled his heart and soul with a new thrust of power he never before knew it existed. His love for Sanem filled his heart over its brim, but this new love he now felt caused his heart to burst out with so much light it could outshine the sun. And it was this feeling of hope and of love that carried him back to reality.

Oh, how much peace this feeling had brought him, for this was the first morning in over a year that he began with a new hope and a smile. The positive feeling was so visible in his soul that it shone out right through his eyes. And the fact that what he heard next was children's laughter, only reaffirmed his strength in their future...