A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

The house always wins...

The days since Can returned to Istanbul were anything but uneventful. He returned with the firm belief that Sanem would never again stand before him. She would never want to see him. Never want to step foot on the same ground as he... Yet, such as life is, it flows with its own current, in its own direction, and it governs with its own laws of nature. As a result, Sanem was not only back in his life, she was back in his heart with such a reinforced thrust of love and longing that he wondered how not holding her in his arms did not make him loose his senses and temper.

But he now understood that to love was to hold Sanem freely, not just in his heart. He longed for her with all that he was. Each time he saw her, that feeling deep within his heart kept ringing louder and louder. His soul screamed out her name and he often wondered how she could not hear it.. Each time she was near him, right next to him, he could feel his skin longing for her slightest touch... How he missed those agency days whenever that happened. Whether it was asking Sanem to bring him her one of a kind tea, to bring him a file, or going to the archive room to pretend he needed a folder. He would give anything for those happy days to come back...

The days of the recent past proved that he was right about Yigit. Right all along. But rather than feeling satisfaction from realizing so, his spirit felt weighted down because tried as he may, Sanem was completely oblivious to any notion of any wrongdoing on Yigit's part. He begged the magic of the moonstones to light Sanem's heart from within about all that Yigit had done. Yigit blamed Can for burning her notebook even if he did that himself, he burned down Mihriban's hut that Can was staying in. But, above all, he made Sanem doubt in their love. And for that he would never forgive him. The days of his anger had long since passed, but the sorrow of the lost time he was forced to endure without Sanem by his side would haunt him forever...

Finding out that Yigit proposed to Sanem made him restless. For a man used to sleepless nights, he now yearned for as little as a minute of sleep. But the undescribable uneasiness he now felt couldn't spare him this luxury of disconnecting him from reality. The night he spent laying on the dock looking at stars felt like eternity. To get up and see Sanem just mere steps from him left him baffled. Could she still really love him? He remembered the times she would secretely watch him at the agency. Those secret gazes were no secret at all. How amuzing it felt then to find her trying to cover up that sweetest crush for him? And how amazing it felt to realize that the light in her eyes shone only for him? He found that same light in her beautiful eyes when he awoke right next to her, with baby Kiraz still in his arms. How was it possible that the howling restlesness of his soul could be destroyed by Sanem's slightest touch. The sleep he was offered by the luck of the stars and the light of her eyes in the morning sun felt like a most rejuvenating breath of the freshest air.

It was that thought that played in his head on constant repeat. The more he thought of it, the less he could stop thinking about it. She could not deny her gaze at him when he smelled her cream when they were creating her brand. Nor did she pretend to do so. The very thing that mezmerized him about her still held its tight grip on his heart. And he knew she caught that. He wondered what she was going to do about it. She did not say NO to Yigit. But she did not say YES. Can gave up long ago in trying to figure her out. He often wondered if Sanem knew herself enough to figure that out. But, then again, and he laughed at this thought, it was often that in those moments of the greatest confusion that she would find the answers to what layed in her heart.

So when she stepped foot on his boat, he understood. She was fighting for them, even if she was too stubborn to say so. And a thought hit him, right in his chest. How many times did history have to repeat its lesson before he got it? She came to him after the carnival and begged him for their love... She came after him to the retreat hotel, and begged him for their love to stand a chance once again... She came to him to the mountain home, and surrendered to him with all of their love in her heart yet again and once more. How many times would their history need to hit him, full force, before he would realize her love was for real? That thought scared him. But what scared him more was the next thought... What if this was it? History's last stance, last attempt for their love?

And what happenned next was all Can Divit. All instinct, no thinking. And it felt so right. He felt so confident and so reassured by his heart. As they say in casinos, the house always wins. The boat moved forward, and so would their love...