A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

Where the winds will lead...

Life was unfair. Life also found amazing ways of making one realize what truly mattered. And for Sanem all that mattered was Can. He was in her heart. He was in her soul. He was in her mind. She once heard him say that everywhere he turned he saw her, felt her. She understood all too well what he meant. He was in the sun, he was in the stars, he was in the deepest of waters of the lake running past her home. And her love for him would forever run through her veins and flow through her heart for all eternity...

She sat across Can on his boat. A triumphant moment that it was, for she thought she caught him just in time, mixed itself with the deepest of sorrow she ever knew for she felt she would soon need to say goodbye to him forever. And no words she could bestow upon him would change his mind. Her actions felt so vulnerable and wild that she just let them spill out from her control. She never wanted anyone to find them and she swore to herself that she could leave her world behind her if Can only asked, but she took the very first chance to tell Deniz that Can kidnapped her and she needed to be rescued. She felt she could spend the rest of her life with Can on the boat, but she made it appear she panicked when he threw their phones overboard. And as a last resort of sanity left in her she grabbed the onboard radio in hopes for help. That wonderfully comical action only made Can love her more. She could not escape the feeling that he was enjoying himself, and she hoped he missed her pure antics filled with more joy and excitement than logic.

Can stopped the boat. His simple request to talk grasped at her heart. She knew he was right. She had nowhere to escape. What he did not know was that deep down inside she knew she would never have escaped. She missed him. All of him, with his strenght and his weaknesses. His sorrow and happiness. Her safe place was always in his arms, with her head resting on his heart and listening to its melodious beat. She hoped with all the pieces of her heart that someday she would find a way back to that safe place again...

Always a chatterbox with no censor, she could not find the right words to begin. For how does one begin to reveal their heart to the only one that ever mattered and the one that did not find enough courage to believe in their love? She wanted to release all that love and all that sorrow she felt within her. Tell him everything because he was everything. Tell him that she missed him. Tell him that she loved him. Tell him that she loved him still. Moreover, tell him that she loved him more now than before because she realized what life without him next to her meant. She fought back tears that dwelled right at her throat. If she cried now, she would never be able to control her tears when she would watch his boat disappear beyond the horizon...

He asked of her to say anything, first thing on her mind. So she did. She looked for what she saw, for she could not sense his feelings. That too brough on a new set of pain, because in the distant past they did not need words to know what they felt. She mentioned his hair, and his new albatross clip.  The smile he offered her went straight to her heart. What he offered next lit that heart on fire. He gifted her with the same albatross clip. But he gifted her with everso much more. She felt it all now. She felt the 365 days of his memory of her that never left his heart. She felt his love for her and the need to obtain the clip for her to match his, even when he knew he may never see her again. She felt his need to keep the memory of her love so close to his heart...

She told him once that she had no words left in her. For him, and for herself. The now obvious truth was that he did not need to offer her any words, for she did not need words any more. Truth, once felt and recognized by the heart, did not need to be spoken. She would forever be his, and he would forever be hers. She would go wherever the winds would lead. She only begged his heart in silence that the winds would lead them back toward each other again...