A MAN'S SORROW CUTS DEEPER

What of the already written pages?

Sanem was a dreamer. A dreamer with a big heart and with high hopes. Life and her luck delt her cards she was forced to play with. Barely surviving at times, she fought battles known only to broken hearts. But she survived. And was rewarded with the return of the man who held her heart in his. They came back to each other. Found love again. The love that never ended, for it kept them alive...

Sitting in the garden, by the light of the firepit and the stars up above, Sanem poured her heart out onto the pages of her notebook. The stars shining up above her, which usually brought her memories of all her happy times with Can, offered no solace. The mid-summer breeze offered no warmth whatsoever, for her hurting heart could not get past the frozen walls Can put up around his heart. Loosing his memory, Can did not loose all of it, just the memory since they met. And that, to Sanem, was the most painful mystery of all. Tried as she might, she could not find the answer to the question as to why he lost just the memory of his last two years.

She found herself hurting all over again. The year since he left was the worst year of her life. Yearning for someone who was there by her side day in and day out. Yearning for someone who gave her so much light through his love, only to steal all of that light and all of her own when he left. She lived in darkness for all of that year. The world seemed desolate and void of any life. The warmth of his embrace, the solace of his touch, the promise of his eyes gazing into hers. All of that was gone. And then, he returned. Though her love for him never ended, the new thrust of its light shocked her to the core. Could she have loved him even more than she did? Could she have fought against all of their love? True love never fades. Dims at times, but never fades. That is its beauty, and the greatest mystery of the world. As much as they were both hurt, they could not deny what lay deep in their hearts. And one kiss was all it took for that love to crush all their fears of tomorrow. They became one again. Against the world and against all odds. They finally realized that their love gave them strenght, and they chose to strengthen that strenght and go into the future together. Hand in hand.

And now she sat alone. Not only alone. She sat lonely. The man of her life just a short distance away. Some may say the distance of a stretched out hand. But she dared not to stretch her hand his way. For she knew he would not stretch his hand toward her. His heart no longer held hers in his. Though she looked and looked, she no longer found her reflection in his eyes. His arms would no longer offer the warmth of his sweetest embrace. And what would become of the love that they shared? What of the pages that have already been written about their love? Was it to just end now? And not because they willed it, but because of the fact that he forgot he ever loved her?

She hoped with all of her hope, that the written pages and those still to be written would offer her even the slightest bit of peace, the slightest smidge of hope. Her pen wrote filled with the teardrops of love. And her heart ached. It ached for what their love was. It ached for what it could have been. But now she found herself alone and incomplete.

So she wrote of her hopes. She wrote of her love. She wrote about the loss of his love yet again. His eyes no longer looked at her through Can's eyes she had grown to know. His eyes no longer looked at her through the eyes of the albatross. His gazes no longer possessed the stare of a lion. She fought hard agains the pain of knowing he looked at her now as itf at someone else. Unknown and unfamiliar. But she would keep going. She would fight for their love. She would go to any lenghts to make sure the love that they shared would come rushing back to him, even if one scene and one moment at a time...