Chapter 3

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I leave work early since I'm too stressed out to think about a thing. Attempting to make myself dinner, the whole dish tastes like cardboard instead of something nice. I am losing myself, cooking is something I enjoyed but after marrying Antonio and taking care of the mafia I barely have time to do it anymore. I just eat out or Sandra makes me something to eat.

"Mama!" Carlos runs up to me smiling and I give him a big hug smiling wide

"I missed you, baby," I mutter into his shoulder and ruffle his hair.

"Good evening ma'am." Sandra walks in with a few of Carlos's toys

"Evening, thank you," I tell her

Sandra is the maid, she has been here since Antonio died. She helps me take care of Carlos while I busy myself with work.

I tickle Carlos smiling and he giggles. I had Carlos after Antonio died, I was pregnant when Antonio died but I didn't find out until I went to the hospital three days after his death since my mom forced me to.

"I can't believe my baby is pregnant!" my mom squeals and I send her a small smile

"You have to see the doctor very frequently." She tells me

"No, I can't."

"Why?" she frowns "Do you want to terminate the pregnancy?"

"No! Never!" I reply in horror "I could never do that to Antonio's baby!"

"Then why don't you want to see the doctor?" My mom says softly

"I can't be seen in and out of the hospitals frequently other mafias are unto me and they would suspect. It wouldn't take them that long to figure out I'm pregnant." I inform her

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'm having the baby in the house, I'll call the mafia doctor for regular checkups and on the delivery date, we'll have the baby, the doctor won't tell anyone." I shrug

"But your stomach is gonna give everything away."

"I won't wear tight clothes and I would barely leave the house during this period after all I'm still recovering from Antonio's death."

"I'm so proud you've grown this mature." My mom smiles tears in her eyes and I stare at her blankly

"Are you going to tell Antonio's mom?" she inquires

"No," I state

"But she-"

"She doesn't need to know." I interrupt her

Turning on the tap, I fill the bathtub with water and some lather. I sit in the water soaking in the warmth and closing my eyes.

"Antonio is dead." Mr. Farrow says his head bowed low

"No!" I scream sobbing sitting on the couch

I hit the glass next to me and it falls to the floor breaking into shards. Sitting on the floor next to the shattered glass I sob uncontrollably. I pound my fists into the broken glass screaming.

"Why?! Why!! Antonio, Why?!" I scream sobbing

Blood trickles from my knuckles and I bury my face in my hands sobbing.

"Ahh..." I resurface back to the top of the water to breathe

Washing off the soap I wrap a towel around myself and walk into the room to meet Carlos sleeping peacefully on my bed and I smile.

My phone rings and I look at the caller ID before picking up.

"Hey Ivie," I smile

"Why haven't you called since?" She whines

"I was busy," I tell her

"You're always busy," she clicks her tongue and I roll my eyes

"Yes because that's what it means to run a mafia."

"Mom said you've been ignoring her calls."

"She's being dramatic, I was busy and I texted her to let her know I was busy."

"Well, she's not too happy."

"Is she there?" I inquire

"No," She says quickly and I frown

"Where are you?"

"At a friend's place."

"Really?" I sigh "Is it a party?"

"No no," she dismisses it quickly

"It's a party, right? Get out of there now."

"But-"

"What if you are being tracked? What if someone attacks you there?"

"It can't happen. I am very careful besides it's not some shady party that they could just raid, I think the mafia is getting to your head, you're being too cautious." She tells me

"You don't understand what it's like, you can never be too cautious but whatever you say, however you have to be home before eleven."

"Fine. How's Carlos?" she asks excitedly

"He's good," I look over at his sleeping form and I smile "He's sleeping,"

"I miss him." She sighs

"What about dad?" I inquire

"Is he good?"

"He's fine,"

"He's not mad at me, right?"

"No way, Dad could never be pissed at you."

"Good." I breathe

"What about Michael and Jason?"

"They're fine. Michael's on a business trip though."

"Okay, good."

"When are you coming home?" she says quietly

"I miss you." She says

"I'm busy right now." I clear my throat and I end the call.

Being weak is something a leader should never feel. Never let people know how you feel, it can be used against you. Fear is what you should instill in people, that way they think you're indestructible because your face holds no emotions. These are the things I learned after Antonio's death. I and Antonio got married while I was still in college. I was twenty-two at that time but I still managed to finish college. Our marriage only lasted a year before he was murdered.

There were a few days when would Antonio let his guard down and it was on that day he was killed. Pulling out files from my wardrobe I take a look at them. 

"I wonder when Mr. Wilson is going to accept our offer," I mutter to myself

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Also, the real deal is coming in a few, just trying to give insights into her life.

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