THE MAFIA'S BEAUTY

Chapter 8

RAFAEL'S P.O.V

I gripped on the staring wheel of the car only to look besides me seeing this girl that had literally ran into my life saving me from myself but as I stared at her saw how we were not good for each other yet both of us not wanting to let go. Her eyes had lost their spark with them turning dull every day, dark marks under them. She had lost so much weight making me scared as I stared at her thinking she would break yet everyday she woke up from her restless sleep pulling her weight and taking care of everyone besides herself. I could see a part of her chirping away everyday leaving a shell of a person. I could see how heavy her shoulders were as she carried all the weight. I looked ahead on the road feeling the pain that tore through my every waking hour. We both knew how of a bad influence we were to each other yet we found comfort in each other's pain. . I knew how she would come down every night to hold my hand through my darkest demons, I knew how each morning she would wake up running around the compound for hours before practising her combat skills for she knew that her brother would find her sooner or later and she wanted to be prepared. I knew how she would pack so little food for herself so I could eat a larger share, I knew how she would keep track of me during the day making sure I was okay, I knew how the more she stayed with me the more I dragged her down the hole I was in and knew that I had to let her go yet I just could not let go and that was my problem. That was the problem that had sent everything to shit, I could not let go and here I was doing it once again.
My thoughts rushed to where we were going as I found it hard to breath. I don't think I was ready to do this but knew that I would never be ready to face them. Her face flashed into my eyes as I blinked it away accepting the pain that came with it. I felt as my face burned up my scars burning as if the knife was cutting through my skin this moment but if this was my punishment then I would take it, I would surely take the pure agony as it felt like my eye would burst any moment now. I stayed focused the pounding head making it difficult as it made everything around me blurry. I felt hallow, felt empty as the craving for the whisky got unbearable missing the feeling of being numb while I saw death and stared it in the face. I blinked my hands shaking from all the pain that coursed through my body. I turned once again looking at the girl that sat watching the world pass her by. She deserved better, deserved a life where she would learn to love, have a family and grow old with the people she loved but she was just as stubborn as her father. I stared back at the road feeling the car swerve on the road as I took a deep breath the sharp pain making everything foggy all around me. I felt her eyes on me seeing my shaking hand yet not saying anything. My mind drifted off to all the money we had spent coming here hoping that it would not be wasted as we were at the breaking point where we would either swim or sink. I sat back knowing that I would see her not knowing what I would do or even say. It seemed like it was too little too late for a sorry yet my heart broke as her cries and screams echoed in my heard knocking the breath from me causing me to tighten the grip on the wheel.
The steel gates came into view as the car slowed down until it came into a halt. Two guards stood at the gate yet not moving as they held their guards in position. We sat there time tickling down as I got more and more restless. It was two minutes later when a guard came walking around the car with a bomb detector only for him to leave with another one coming with a hand scanner where I rolled the window down putting my hand on the scanner it beeping green to show that indeed it was me. When both the men had disappeared the gates were opened as I drove in taking twenty minutes for the house to finally come into view. I could see the little bird's mouth hung open as she turned around over her seat taking it all from the large ocean to the forest in the compound only to gasp as her eyes fell on the house I had come to for so many times yet somehow this time it was different, somehow this time I knew I was not really welcome. I parked the car in the drive way looking over at Lethu who could not help ogling at the house nearly making me laugh.

"I will be right back, will you be okay in the car?" I asked her as she nodded her head seating back and getting comfortable as I threw the keys to her in case I took too long and she would need the heat or if they kill me.