THE MAFIA'S BEAUTY

Chapter 11

That night I had slept in the tub, I sat there for hours and hours until my skin turned pale in the water, until it shrunk but what other option did I have. I sat there draining the water when they got too crimson only to fill the tub again. My hands shook from the intensity of the pain. It felt like someone was clawing away my womb as more and more blood trickled down turning the water red all over again. I sat there tears falling down for it seemed like all I was good for was crying. My hair was wet, my face was wet and my whole body was wet. I sat there hour after hour passing by. It was just the break of dawn when I heard the door to his bedroom open only to close, it was two hours later when I had it open again only to close. I sat there sleep heavy so I gave in sinking in the tub as the darkness claimed me where the lost souls waited the teeth sharp , their claws pointed waiting to draw more and more blood.
I gasped out for breath sitting up the water falling over me as my arms wrapped around my frail body goose bumps covering every inch of my skin my lower lip trembling. The water had turned cold long time ago leaving me to shiver where I sat. The pains had intensified because of the cold. I bent over closing my eyes as it moved over my body in waves leaving me paralyzed I could not speak, could not move just tears flooding down my stinging cheeks. All I saw was red, red everywhere as some of the water had spilled on the floor. With much force I moved forward removing the stopped watching the water drain away as I plunged it back in place and fill the tub again the newly warm water making me shake uncontrollably my skin feeling as if there were a hundred needles piercing through it. I switched of the tap when the tub was full enough submerging my whole body under the warmth painfully seeping in my body. Bright light shot through the window meaning the hours had gone by. I stood up after a few minutes getting in the shower to wash away my body and rid myself of the menstrual blood stench before rolling half of the tissue placing it on my panty for it to act as a pad knowing perfectly well that I would have to change it in an hour. I made my way to the closet blowing my nose now and again.
My head was spinning, wanting to vomit in such a way that I would gag out of nowhere pain shooting through my stomach as I did so. My head was pounding as I slowly dressed up my hands shaking badly. My feet carried me out of the room to the lift buried in layers and layers of clothes my hair dripping wet but having no patience to dry it at this point. My back to the wall for support but as it moved down my head span more and I bent over gagging only for saliva to come out trailing to the floor, hot tears threatening to spill. The lift came to a halt as the doors opened. I dragged myself out feeling as if I would fall over any second now. I leaned against the walls for support as my legs shook. With much difficulty I made my way to the kitchen where I bent over leaning against the counter only to shoot up running to the sink spilling everything I had ate the night before.  More tears spilled as I heaved my chest going up and down, heavily breathing with beads of sweat trickling down my forehead. I opened the tap feeling a bit better with my stomach settling for now. I watched the water wash away all the contents of my vomit before rinsing my mouth then closing the tap. I went to the pantry seeing what I could eat because I needed as much energy as I could get to not end up passing out. My eyes wracked over the shelves everything making my stomach turn as I thought about it. I finally pulled out a box of wheat crackers making tea so that it would warm me up.
Sitting at the bar stool I ate it taking more than thirty minutes to eat six crackers along with my tea yet I tried pushing it down only to stop when I felt as if it would come back continuing when my stomach had settled again. The tears welled up as I thought of how I had never gone through this alone. My mother had always been there holding my hand through it as she knew from her own experience how painful it was and in turn I would be there for her when my father would be away to help her through the time of the month. It was something we shared, a bond beyond that of motherhood that was forged through shared pain and tears. I put the cup down seeing my hand shake spilling some of its contents. I sat there waiting as I felt it come up and up hoping that if I did not move, if I did not even breath then it would go away but it did not help as I jumped up running to the sink pouring all that I had just ate out. I kept on going over and over again even when there was nothing left to spill but went on more and more saliva coming out the pain exploding in my belly.
My hair was suddenly pulled from my face as I bent over again vomiting nothing but saliva. I felt the hand on my back as it moved in circles only making me cry harder as I turned around burying my face in his chest where his hands came around my shaking body holding me in place as I cried harder. I felt his lips at the crown of my wet hair him holding me tighter and tighter as I wept my eyes out. I quickly turned around feeling it come around and he understood freeing me from his embrace holding my hair back as I gagged over and over again saliva pulling out in strings to the sink. He opened the tap for me washing away the vomit as he brought a cloth to me wiping away the vomit from my face which I had also smudged in his sweater. I drank the cup of cold water brought to my mouth before I was scooped up from the floor my body tucking into his as if they were made for each other, as if he was meant to carry me and me to lay in his arms tucked in his chest. I felt him as he made his way up the stairs until a door was opened and closed my body eased on the silky sheets that were for sure not my own. I was tucked in drowning in the heavenly sheets as I curled myself into a ball the pain too much to bare leaving it hard to even breathe.
I drifted in and out of consciousness the pain never leaving me even in my dreams.  I drifted in and out of consciousness my lips never to stop trembling along with my hands that were wrapped on tightly around my stomach. I would wake up heaving my stomach turning only for my head to be held high with a bucket in place as I spilled more and more saliva until my mouth was dry then I would drink water which would also end up in the bucket. I turned around the bed the pain getting too much as I stretched and folded my body over and over again trying to find a position that would ease the pain but nothing. My body was scooped up and I was brought into a strong warm chest where strong arms were wrapped around me in the sheets sharing my pain, seeming to ease it away so I drifted off into a world where I was dreaming but still awake. I could feel his warm breath fan my skin with his arms never letting go his heart drumming in his chest as he held on easing my pain. I turned around only to vomit the water I had drank twenty minutes ago spilling it all over him feeling it seep through my own clothes and the sheets. I was too sick to care, too sick to feel embarrassed as I continued spilling more and more until my throat was as dry as a sand paper. In my mind I knew that I should have changed by know, I kept screaming for my body to shoot up so I could go to the toilet to change but it just would not listen and it was then that I realized that I was not fully conscious as I felt him pick me up only to pause cursing while carrying me to the bathroom where he placed me on the bath tub only to pace running a hand through his hair and cursing. He walked out only to come back kneeling before me.
"Lethu you need to wake up." He said and I wanted to wake up, wanted to move but my body seemed paralysed, seemed like the life had been drained out of it. I watched him my eyes closing only to open, closing only to open. He unzipped my jacket taking it off followed by the sweater I had worn underneath.
"Shit, we need a doctor, you're bleeding shit!" He cursed walking out of the room before everything went black.
There was a mist covering my eyes as I could hear something beep right next to me. I could hear the sound get louder and louder as the mist cleared until my eyes opened only to close and open again. I made out a figure seating by the chair in the darkness of the room. I felt drained, was perched with my head pounding and my body aching. I looked to my right seeing the tube going up to some hock where a drip hung connected to my arm. I sighed laying my head back on the pillow as the person who I knew too well stood up grabbing a glass of water on the way placing it on my lips his hand slipping at the back of my head bringing it up as I gulped down the water which slid through my tongue down to my ashy dry throat. When nothing was left he lowered my head back on the pillow placing the glass down on the pedestal.
"What happened?" I asked staring at him everything hazy as the last thing I remembered was vomiting all over his bed.
"You were losing a lot of liquids and energy the pain knocking you unconscious." He said something that I had heard too many times before.
"Thank you," I said to him as he nod his head.
"I should get you something to eat." He said as he straightened up turning to leave closing the door behind him. The dark curtains were closed making it impossible to see if it was day or night. I looked all over the room seeing how dark and cold it was. It did not go unnoticed by me that the sheets had been changed. His scent wrapped around me like a warm fluffy towel, the sheets so silky it felt like heaven warmth from the grey blanket on top making me groan in pleasure. My eyes drifted back on the drip wondering how much it cost to bring a doctor here. I sighed not liking how the money just kept draining out unnecessarily. I shook my head knowing that this fell on me. I should have known, should have got all the pills and supplements I needed having gone through this too many times. 
The door opened again as he walked in carrying a tray as I looked away hiding the blush that crept to my face to see him serving me food in bed. My heart could not take such things, it was too frail getting excited over these little things that left me swooning. The tray was held as I sat up trying but miserably to hold the smile spreading over my face. He placed it on top of me turning and seating down next to me by the bed. I could see the vegetable soup that had my mouth watering along with the steamy bread.
"Please don't tell me you made this?" I asked picking up the spoon and scooping up some soup bring it to my mouth only to draw it in feeling the delicious flavours just exploding in my mouth as I closed my eye savouring the taste.
"Oohh lord this is so good." I went for another spoon tearing apart the fresh bread throwing it in only for it to melt in my mouth as I turned staring at him in shock and amazement chewing not hiding all the feelings coursing through me.
I shook my head as I went tearing another piece throwing it in the hunger bring out the savage in my as I chewed moaning and nodding my head. I don't know if it was the hunger or the dry mouth but this was the best soup I had ever eaten. I made me wiggle my toes and want to sing a happy tune. Two minutes I was done sitting back my belly full to the point where I could just feel the pounds adding on making me fat.
"You are definitely the better cook in this house, "I said as he took the dishes away and placing them on the pedestal next to him his hoodie falling over as he got up only for him to quickly grab it and pull it over.
"Please, you don't have to hide yourself when you are with me." Said my hand holding his as he was just adjusting the hood. I held it brushing with my thumb hating that he had to hide himself, which he had to feel the need to be in the shadows in his own house. He froze where he was, his hand shaking in my grasp knowing that it shook from the pain that haunted him every time he opened his eyes. There was nothing I wished that to take it all away, there was nothing I wanted than to take it all away so he could finally breathe, so he could finally live.
"You don't have to hide with me," I said again moving my own shaking hand from his as he watched it with his injured eyes, watching it as it got higher and higher until it lay on his skin, his warm skin too warm not ache. I could feel the deep scars underneath my hand, I held on with my hand taking a deep breath as his eyes closed his body frozen where he sat taking a deep breath as if he had not taken one for such a long time. My hand felt so cold against his flaming skin, I knew it brought relief and that is way my other hand found its way to his other cheek cooling him down at first touch. My tears pooled in my eyes heart drumming wanting to bring him to me to hold and never let go. We sat there for the longest time seeming as if everything had faded away, seeming that nothing mattered than this man that sat just in front of me suffering in the most possible way.
He stood up in such speed that my hands were left hanging as he rushed out of the room the door closing with such intensity that I jumped in his bed bringing my arms to wrap around my body my heart crying out for no one else but him.