THE MAFIA'S BEAUTY

Chapter 75

I sat by the door, watching them all walk in and walk out crying. There were a lot of them, a lot of people filling the room to say their prayers. I sat there, watching them all walk in with them constantly patting me. I blinked, too much pain to the fact where I was numb at this point. I kept asking myself who all these people were, could not understand how there were just a lot of people acting as if they knew her, acting as if they saw her at her best, watched her smile or even knew what the sound of her voice was. The machines could be heard from where I sat, the constant beep with no change. I was numb, numb from the pain and the feeling. I could barely feel my own feet, my eyes staring at the white wall yet not sure what I was thinking about. A hand was placed on my shoulder then removed making me clench my jaw. I did not want them to touch her, actually did not want them around her, did not understand why they were crying. If only they could all just leave us alone, if everyone could just disappear and leave me with my wife.

My heart broke, her face in my mind. I swallowed, cleared my thought as I could see her smile towards me. I closed my eyes, wished I could just speak to her, wishing I could just go back so I could lock her in a room and never let her out. I missed her, missed her so much, my love, my better half fighting for her life and I could not even hold her hand. I sat there, my head tipping back as I fought the emotions. Her face had been smudged with blood everywhere, her body wrapped in bandages as if to bury her. HI could not stare at her, it was too painful. Her skin was pale, so pale it scared me. My hand ran through my face as I took a deep breath, a shiver running through my body.

There was a sound, my head dipping up to find Alex walking towards me with his drip held. He walked so low, his legs shaking as if they would snap. I looked away, his face carrying so much emotions I did not want to feel. I heard him as he dragged himself until he was just standing right in front of me. I did not want to look at him, what would I say, tell him that I failed Lethu, that I let Klaus stab my wife and tear her apart, How could I tell him that I let him kill my unborn babies, practically stabbed them to death. My hands shook, folding them into fists yet that did not stop them. Alex slumped on the chair next to me, his whole body shaking and skin pale. I took a deep breath, trying to get a grip on myself yet how could i. I sat there, lost and yearning myself apart. I wished I could die, wished I could just take her place. It had to be me, I should have been lying there, I should have been the one fighting for my life and not Lethu. I blinked and blinked as if that could take the feelings away.

Alex sat there, not saying a thing with blood soon streaming down his leg. I watched it stream down his leg as he sat still as if he did not feel the pain but sure it was killing him. My head finally snapped up, staring at him to find him as pale as a paper with his lips quivering, fists folded yet he seemed not to be going away anytime soon.

"What happened?" His voice came, raw and angry. I swallowed, opening my mouth only to close it. My throat was dry and burning, deciding to look away. I did not know what to say, did not know what to do so I found myself standing up and walking away. I was a coward, was a selfish coward who was not worth living, not worth anything. How could I live without her?

The door was opened, my eyes laying on Melissa as soon as I walked in. She had cried past the healthy point, leaving her just sitting there holding on her daughters hand so tightly. Her body was moving back and forth, tears just streaming down yet no sound coming from her lips. There were a couple of ladies saying prayers and telling her it was going to be all right. I could not even recognise them, Melissa seeming to not even notice them. I walked in, each step I took like a stab in my heart. I felt like I was suffocating, the walls seeming to close in on me as my body went shaking so hard. I took another step, my eyes not moving from her still body them having changed her into a hospital with a sponge bath yet still the blood was still there. You could not recognise her face, it was all bruised and buttered, swollen to the point of disfigure. My heart was as if it was suffocating me, the tears blinded me as I got to the chair, gripping it for my legs felt as if they would snap. What had he done to her? You could hear the wheezing as she took in breath, a collapsed lung they said, a damaged kidney, broken ribs, damaged liver, the list went on with no home yet I could not let her go, could not give up on her when she had gave me so many chances, when she had fought so much for me. I took her hand into mine, it was so cold and pale yet I held on to it. My lips came touching it, my forehead bending down to lay on her hand as I closed my eyes.