𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐛𝐨y /𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐣𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐨/

𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞.

alejandro

Three times, three times and Mattia expects me to keep going. This is the third time I've miscarried. "Sometimes people's bodies just aren't built for pregnancy and that's okay." Dr. O'Neal said, rubbing my back soothingly as I laid on the small hospital bed.

It's been two long, emotionally and physically exhausting months since my second miscarriage. The one that happened at the park, it's been a few months since my first miscarriage, the one that happened because of stress from watching the people I love-loved and grew up with getting killed.

"You guys don't have to start trying too quickly. Just take a little break and take it easy for a while honey." She said, smiling sadly at me. "Yeah, okay." I nodded. I looked over at Mattia who looked pale and tired.

I had woken up pretty late, at about three in the morning, yelling in pain and clutching my stomach. I woke Mattia up by slapping his face a few times, making him sit up and look at me with concern before helping me stand up, where we both saw the huge red bloodstain on the mattress sheets under me.

I think both of us knew, the second I stood up that the baby was gone. Mattia didn't even put on shoes when he picked me up and brought me to the car, he forgot his keys as well, before he ran back inside, grabbing slippers, two jackets, and the keys.

I had to remind him that he was only wearing boxers as he ran back. "I don't care, we gotta go." That was all he said, putting his jacket on and covering me with the slightly bigger one.

I kept my attention on his plaid-styled boxers as he stood up and walked over to me, rubbing his eyes and helping me sit up. It confused me a little how he walked around as if they were shorts, but in reality, they were just underwear. Nothing under them, I don't even know what my own thoughts are, they make zero sense.

"Sweetie, be very careful when you're walking around, everything down there is still very sensitive because of the D&C okay?" She asked me, and I nodded, looking straight forward at the chart on the wall, it was just a pregnant lady holding her belly and smiling as she got an ultrasound done with her loving-looking husband. That stupid pregnant bitch.

I didn't listen as the two of them, Mattia and Dr. O'Neal talked quietly, expecting me not to hear when they were right above me. "Alright do you wanna take a wheelchair to the car dear?" She asked me, I shook my head, struggling to hop off of the table, landing a bit wobbly on my feet.

"I'm fine, it's okay," I told her, and she nodded, holding her hands in front of her as Mattia thanked her and put a hand on my back, the other hand holding mine as he walked me out of the small room.

‼️

"Nano, please hurry up buddy!" Mattia yelled as I watched him pack Nano's lunch box for school, "Does he have soccer after school?" He asked, looking up at me while I leaned on the counter, staring at the small tangerine that was on the beside me in the fruit bowl.

"Yeah, he-he does," I said with a nod before I sat up. "I'm ready!" We heard Nano yell as he walked down the stairs, wearing his coat and his light-up shoes.

"Good morning bud, alright, let's get your backpack on," Mattia said, putting one of the small tangerines in his lunch box and zipping it up, grabbing Nano's paw patrol backpack and hooking it to his bag zipper.

"Make sure you don't leave your water bottle at school alright?" Mattia asked him, and he nodded, giving him a thumbs up. "Let's go papi, say bye to Mattia," I said, limping a bit as I walked over to where Nano was.

"Babe, sit down, it's okay, I'll take him today." He said, helping Nano put his arms through his backpack straps and holding his shoulders. "No, it's fine, I got it." I said, "The doctor said to take it easy for the next few weeks. I'll walk him, it's fine Ale." He told me, letting go of Nano's shoulders and putting his hand on my arms.