𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬

Going Mad

Paisley

It's been three days since Draco told me to leave after no reason whatsoever. It made me feel like I did something wrong to deserve this, and then I though that maybe I did deserve it. I started thinking back to why I felt so guilty about my father's death and it always ends up with me thinking that I should be the one dead. I got these thoughts a lot in this past few days, and I added another cut. There were four now, and I can't let Pansy find out because she'll tell Draco.

Tonight I was doing potions homework with Daphne and Pansy. I took potions this year because I thought that for my future career I could be a healer, and you need potions for that. I was never too good at Potions.

Draco was no where to be seen in the common room. I found myself looking around the room almost every minute like I expected him to show up. He never did. "You need to stop worrying." Daphne said, making me turn my attention to her.

"I thought he would've come back to me by now. I'm really worried about him. It looks like he doesn't ever sleep and he looks so sad all the time. He's never done anything like this." I said. "It's not even been a week here and I feel so distant from him already." I looked down at the two rings he gave me; the one with stars and the one he gave me just because I liked it.

I continued. "He got mad at me once after Adrian-" I cut myself off. It was still painful to say. I had to keep reminding myself that he's gone now. "Well Draco couldn't go a day being mad at me because he knew how sad I was at the time and he figured it would make everything worse. Now he's still ignoring me and my situation now is worse than that. I...I feel like I did something wrong. Maybe I was just too much to handle, or maybe I was to needy. I depend on him too much."

Daphne objected. "You did nothing wrong, and you know that. Did you ever come to think about why he's stuck with you all this time? It's love, Paisley." Pansy looked up from her homework with wide eyes. I was at a loss for words.

That four-letter word meant something. It meant everything. It gave me hope. It made me want to fix things and get through with Draco. The two of them have known Draco far longer than I have, and if they think so highly of him and I, then that has to mean something.

Maybe Draco is staying away from me because he thinks he'll hurt me. He's done that before, but I think this is something bigger.

That night as I was laying in bed, I replayed what Daphne said over and over in my head until I couldn't take it anymore. I had to do something. What she said was what drove me to get out of bed and run out of my dorm.

My feet took me all the way back to Draco's dorm where I stood in front of his door. There's a good chance he won't be here because of the 'thing' he had to do recently, but there's a small possibility that he will. I heard rustling around from outside his dorm. He's there.

My heart skipped a beat as the hopefulness grew inside my chest. I opened the door with a small creek to see Draco moving uncontrollably in his bed and sweating. There were tears streaming from his eyes as he squeezed them shut. "No, no, no, please don't make me. No, please don't." He kept repeating those words as I knelt down beside him.

He's having a nightmare. I didn't know he got those. "Draco, Draco wake up!" I said louder than expected. I shook him slightly. "Draco wake up. Wake up, please. Draco wake up!" He slowly stopped rustling around and his eyes opened.

Only a second went by until he realized I was there, and snatched me into a tight hug. I hugged him back tighter. "It's okay. It's okay, it's not real. You're okay." I rubbed his back as he cried a little more into my shoulder. I think this was the first time I've seen him really cry, and I don't think he cared if I saw.