𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬

Secrets

Paisley

After another sleepless night just sitting outside Draco's room, I headed down to the common room. I think I left one of the books Draco gave me there anyway.

When I got into the common room, I found my book sitting on a side table next to the couch across from the green fireplace. I grabbed it and flopped down on the soft cushions. I sat sideways so that my back was laying against the armrest. I started to read as I rested my book on my knees. I might as well get comfortable because I might be her for a while.

I read my book for hours and hours. I was already awake and I really needed something to do. I know I should be sleeping at this time, but it's almost impossible when I know Draco's in the Hospital Wing. I thought that I would be better after seeing him to know that he was okay, but it only helped a little. Draco, however, is probably getting more sleep because he's not working on the cabinet at night.

It was probably 5:00 a.m. when I heard someone coming down from the dorms. I was glad to see Pansy and I stopped reading for a moment to say hi to her.

She came and sat down by me. I could tell she had something on her mind. "Hey Paze, do you ever just have this thing on your mind and you can't get it out?"

"All the time." I said. "But why are you asking? Do you have something going on?"

"I don't know..." she said with uncertainty. "...well, maybe."

"What's going on, Pansy?" I asked. I've never really seen her act like this before. She's always been the type of person who was just...out there. She's pushing me to be the 'bad bitch I once was', as she said before many times.

Pansy's not very sympathetic or someone to have deep conversations with, but she was there for me when I needed her. She's definitely got a personality, and I lover her for it, but she's different right now. Something is off.

"I just..." she made a grunting noice and stressfully held her head in her hands. "I want to tell you but-"

"Tell me what?" I asked. "Pansy, you're scaring me. What happened?"

"Every time I see you I feel so - so god damn angry at myself!" She said loudly.

"Why?" Now I was really worried. Why does she get angry when she sees me? This doesn't make sense.

"This is the time to tell you, yeah, I'm going to tell you." She said. "I think I should." She sounded like she was talking to herself now.

I figured I'd just stop asking what she was talking about so that she could think. And by the looks of it, she's going to tell me whatever she wants to tell me.

"I - I was raped by Adrian too." My eyes grew wide and my jaw nearly dropped. "I was fourteen." She said.

"What?! But...you were friends with him." I said, sounding completely shocked.

"Yeah, and that's the worst part. We - we were just messing around. We were friends, yeah, and I was young. I didn't know...I didn't see the signs." She said.

She was about to cry, so I brought her into a hug. Pansy's not really a hugger, but I think she needs it right now.

We hugged as she cried for what seemed like a long time. How had she never told anyone until now? I feel so horrible for never knowing and being one of her best friends for more than a year. She was fourteen and didn't know what was going on. I was fifteen and I knew. I couldn't imagine being that young...and she never told anyone. I feel so - so sad for her. She shouldn't have to go through that.

Almost everyone in Slytherin knew what happened to me within a day. And here, Pansy kept this all to herself for like two years now.

We pulled apart from the hug. "I was confused and I - I didn't know what to do. No one else knows. It's just...I knew the kind of guy he was and I practically lead him to you. I knew what might happen." She said.