The Keepers of Chaos: A Vault of Hell

Markos: CXVII

Be Me: CXVII

Markos couldn't speak. He felt frozen, stuck to his seat on the floor like he had so many times before. He fidgeted with his fingers, listening to Riu and Alekzandr talk. Was that all he was now? Someone who stood idly by while others could express what he could not? His body was tired, he stayed up all night not wishing to discard the time he was gifted with. To be sane.. Free of voices entirely. No hiccups, no cracks. Could he finally think properly? The thought brought him small tears.

"Markos." He snapped back to reality, again. When Riu called out his name. She sat against the wall with a hand on Alekzandr. Her white hair was combed neatly despite their altercation with the cat. Her smile was faint and barely visible, but he swore he saw a trace of hope in her icy gold flecked blue eyes.

"Yeah?" He pursed a lip, Markos.. To actually feel that name again. It was mesmerizing, intoxicating, it.. Made him fidget more and more, he was giddy. This was.. So nice.

"If I could.. What's the meaning behind that ring you keep fidgeting with?" It was so, so.. What? He frowned, before noticing his left hand wrapped around the ornate black ring on his necklace. A pit grew in his stomach.

"Hgh!" He viciously yanked the necklace off, pulling it away from him as harshly as he could, he heard the chain's back snap. His arm recoiled and he attempted to throw the thing aside. "I- N-no!" His voice slipped, he bent over clutching at his splitting head. His arm lowered rapidly while he fought his own instincts. No.. throw it.. Throw it! He wanted so badly to throw the ornament as far as possible. Yet something.. Stopped him. "I-I" He hadn't even noticed he still had it on.. After his shower, after his change of clothes. How was that even possible?

"M-Markos?" Riu gasped. "What's wrong?" She leaned forward, her eyes full of worry. He cupped his face holding back tears, he repeatedly thrust his arm back and forth in feeble attempts to let go of the object. He.. couldn't.. He felt Alekzandr's eyes on him, a sudden concern. His arms trembled. Markos slowly opened his palm observing the small black ring. His mind swelled with hate, fear, and.. Longing. Dammit, he hated it all. "Markos." She leaned in, setting a hand on his arm, lowering it to his lap. "What.. is that?" He looked down to the floor, biting his lip in shame.

"It.. It's a gift.. From my god." He whispered. He hated how his voice floated for the briefest of seconds when he mentioned his god. It was.. Different, he knew the truth but.. A coldness in his arms made him long for something.

"Cthulhu?" Riu prodded. Her eyes were so full of concern, so very worried for him. "Cthulhu gave you a ring?"

"No.." he shook his head. "Not, Cthulhu. It's.. she's.. Something different.. G-greater.. M-my.. uh.." He started. Feeling the pit forming in his stomach.

"Who?" Riu reached out brushing an out of place hair on his head.

"I.. N.. I can't.." He stuttered badly, feeling fear entrench him. "I can't say her name.." He admitted pathetically, he felt tears. Damn he was already crying. The lack of voices didn't do anything to halt his depression. "I-I.. call her Uheo." he whispered. Darting his eyes around the room he feared retribution. It wasn't technically his own..

"Uhaoh?" Riu pronounced each syllable carefully. He flinched, when.. Was the last time he'd heard someone else say that? Time felt lost on him. He bit his lip trying his best not to laugh. It was.. Funny right? His life was funny.

"Y..yeah.." He couldn't tell for one fleeting second whether the spell was working or not. Was he.. In fact sane? If so, why did his body shiver in.. excitement, while his brain did so in fear.

"Why can't you say their name?" She scooted closer. Dammit, he wished he could answer a question like that. Things were never that simple, it was.. Indescribable. A feeling and sensation to stand in that thing's presence, a truly isolating grip that held you. Why couldn't he just be normal! Be him!