Torn Between

Chapter Thirty Eight ;; The Speech

LEAH'S POINT OF VIEW

I was barely even functioning at this point as I proceeded to dress myself. It was Monday Night RAW tonight and Stephanie McMahon asked me if I would speak on Bray's behalf. Of course after everything I didn't want to, I mean I wanted to sit home, in complete darkness, and just cry my life away, but I knew I needed to do this for Bray.

I didn't really have anything to wear, in fact I hadn't gone shopping for anything dressy since I've been pregnant and being that I was a little more than half way through my pregnancy with twins, I was showing quite abit. But of course Seth insisted on buying me something nice to wear, which I didn't really want to spend his money, but right now I don't really have the strength to argue about it, so I ended up getting this really cute, dark grey dress, that had a black ribbon around it, that tied in the back. It wasn't too long or too short, it wasn't even too fancy, but I liked it. Since I am pregnant I won't be wearing heels either, just some typical, black sandals.

I felt Seths' hands brush my hair to one side of my shoulder as he appeared in the mirror behind me.

"You look beautiful" he complimented. Although it was sincere, I couldn't let out a smile.

"Thank you." I responded with a very mellow voice.

He then started to put a necklace around my neck.

"It was Bray's, he would want you to have it." Seth explained.

I looked up, into the mirror, as I felt the charm of the necklace. It was a gold, sort of distorted cross. I closed my eyes and pictured the last time I saw him wearing it, as a tear tickled down my cheek. Seth quickly washed it away with his thumb.

"Seth I just don't know if I can do this," I started to freak out.

He rested his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes.

"Leah, Baby, I know your really torn right now, all of us are, but I'll be with you." he assured.

I nodded my head in approval.

Seth took my hand and lead me out the door of his locker room, so we could meet up with Triple H and Stephanie, as well as Dean and Roman, to go over the final plans for tonight. I walked with my head down pretty much the whole time and I could see Seth looking over at me almost the whole time, from the corner of my eye. I knew he must of just been worried.

As we entered the locker room, Dean and Roman were already talking to Triple H and Stephanie.

"Welcome Leah and Seth" Stephanie greeted as Triple H shook Seth's free hand.

"Thank you." I responded softly.

"What's the plan?" Seth spoke up, noticing I didn't really feel like using my voice.

"Tonights show is 100% dedicated to Bray, Stephanie started to go on, so with that being said we want to make sure we pay tribute to him."

"Okay, but how do we play into this?" Dean asked.

"At the opening of the show, all four of you will enter the ring together, to Bray's music, you three will be holding lanterns during the entrance." She explained pointing to Dean, Seth, and Roman. "And we want Leah to give some kind of personal, memorial, speech, She quickly added.

We all stared at her and listened as Triple H cut in, "We know this is out of character for all of you, but tonight is only about remembering Bray."

"I don't know if I really want to give a speech," I finally spoke up."

Triple H looked at me and walked up to me. "I know it must be difficult for you, but we really think it should be you to give the memorial speech." he said.

"I might break down or something." I admitted.

Stephanie started to speak, but Seth interrupted, "Hey I won't let that happen alright? I'll be right there." He clutched my hand a little tighter. I looked up, a little annoyed with Triple H and Stephanie, but agreed. At this point it was almost showtime, so we all headed for the curtain.

Some of the staff handed Dean, Seth and Roman a lantern, that of course The Authority directed them to carry during the entrance. It wasn't long before I heard the loud pyro and crowd. I knew it was time.

Bray's music hit and Seth stood to my left, Dean to my right, and Roman was directly behind me, putting me in the middle. It was super dark in the arena and people had their cell phone's light on, swaying them side to side. The sight of all the lights was quite mesmerizing. As we walked down the ramp, Seth held my hand, as he had the lantern in the other. We took our time, but made it to the ring in just a couple minutes. Seth continued to hold my hand as I walked up the stairs and I met up with Dean who was already on the apron, pushing his foot of the bottom rope and lifting up the middle rope, so I could get in the ring easier.

I walked over to the other side of the ring, in which I was handed a mic and then returned to where the others were standing. The music came to a rest, along with the cheers of the crowd and the lights flickered back on.

I went to speak, but I immediately hesitated, which caused the crowed to let out a huge "awwww." I know they knew who I was and what had happened, so I could feel their sympathy. Seth walked up beside me and rubbed my back, which made me feel a little more open to speaking.

"You know, WWE Universe, my brother, Bray did nothing but dream to be a WWE Superstar since I could remember. His road to be here was much like anyone's road to their dream, was difficult. But you know what? He never gave up or gave in to any of the critics who always tried to bring him down. He is the very reason why me, myself wanted to be a diva. He inspired me," tears started to tickle my cheeks, as I fought the urge to cry. I felt Seth and Dean's hands on my shoulders as I continued to speak.

"These two beautiful nieces/nephews that he will have soon will never get to meet him, but I will tell them as much as I can and keep his memory going forever and I hope all of you keep him close to your heart like all of us will, thank you guys for being a fan of his and supporting him through times I didn't, thanks for showing up to see him live when I couldn't, and I hope he inspired at least one of you to follow your dreams, like he did me." I smiled and blew a kiss to the crowd and begin to cry and an in memory picture of Bray popped up on the titantron. Seth hugged me and so did Dean and Roman.

"You did great, Seth said to me as our foreheads and noses touched each others. I just nodded my head, as Bray's music begun to play again.

Dean and Roman had already exited the ring, so Seth held the ropes for me as I exited myself. He followed directly behind me, just in time to help me down the the stairs. As I reached the last stepped, I stepped off into his arms and we walked through the curtains together.