NCT/WAYV Oneshots

🖤 Anorexia- Renjun

Request by: RiddhimaaChowdhury

TRIGGER WARNING: Anorexia, starvation, mental illness, cyberbullying, bullying, body shaming.

Renjun was really good at hiding things. He was so reserved and independent  that none of the members could really tell when he was struggling with something.

It was only when the boy’s limp body hit the hard stage that they realized something was wrong.
It had been upwards of three months since renjun had stopped eating.
 
It was a very average day, dream were all at home after a busy day of schedules. Renjun was showered and in his pajamas waiting for dinner while he scrolled through twitter.

He scrolled through their hashtag, laughing at some of the pictures and memes from NCTzens. He even chuckled at some of the hateful comments, finding the netizens amusing. It was only when he discovered a specific thread that his smile fell and his stomach dropped.

It was a picture of him on stage, a loose fitting tank top hanging off of his shoulders, his skin coated with sweat.

“oh my god, renjun has gained so much weight .”

His eyes widened. He stared at the text in horror, his shaky thumb hovering over the comments. He reluctantly clicked the icon.

“yikes, he’s really gotten big.”

“ew, he looks so chubby.”

“he’s definitely neglecting his health.”

“has SM lessened their workout regimen?”

“he used to be my bias but now he’s disgusting.”

“fat pig.”

“lose some weight renjun you look ugly.”
 
The comments seemed endless. Renjun couldn’t believe what he was reading. He wasn’t one to care about hate, in fact, he and chenle often made fun of hate comments, but this, this was different.

Renjun had always been self conscious. When he was in school, kids used to make fun of him for the way he looked.
He was called fat because of his soft cheeks, he was called ugly for his snaggle tooth, he was called names simply for existing. He remembered feeling depressed as a young boy, only 12 years old and desperately wanting to change the way he looked. He had tried exercising but with his metabolic rate at such a young age, it didn’t allow a lot of change. Not to mention the fact that young renjun was in fact quite thin, the only fat on him being the remaining baby fat of his cheeks that he had yet to grow out of.

When he realized that exercise wasn’t working, he became increasingly frustrated with himself and had decided that he would just stop eating for awhile until the weight was gone.

And so, twelve year old renjun did just that. He stopped eating and as predicted, he got really sick.

He spent months doing rehab after successfully starving himself for five weeks.

He had gotten better but becoming an idol definitely did not improve his insecurity, it honestly it made them worse.

Reading comments about his body made panic settle in his chest. He immediately went back to that twelve year old mindset. He was fat, he was ugly, he was a freak and he needed  to change to make the fans happy.

That’s how his relapse began, as quick as a snap of his fingers, he decided to skip his meals completely forgetting all his progress he made in rehab.

That night he skipped dinner, being his normal self with the members.
Throughout the next week, he had avoided eating a full meal and still no one noticed that he was progressively getting sicker.