Oh Shit

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Grey~

I hate this. I hate myself. I hate everything.

How could I have ever let it get to the point where Eva thinks I only wanted her for sex?

I drive, and drive, and drive, until I'm eventually at Olivers house. I don't realize it until I finally feel a heavy weight on my chest, that I'm crying.

"Grey, what-" Brinley answers the door; I wrap my arms around her.

"Brin, who is-" Oliver walks over to the door.

"Grey, oh my god," He pulls me off of Brinley, and wraps his arms around me instead.

"I fucked up, bad." I tell him.

"Hey, come in here, sit down."

I sit in the family living room. Their wedding photos on display. Newborn photos of Blake hang next to them, and I suddenly remember that in nine months, I'll have three. My stomach drops.

"What happened?"

"Eva and I got in an argument," My voice cracks. "And somehow I made it seem like all I wanted her for was sex,"

"Oh shit." Oliver practically gasps.

"Then said we needed to take a break. For how long? Who knows. But," I hesitate. Eva said she wanted to wait to tell people. Oliver's my best friend though. He deserves to know. Right?

"But what?"

"Nothing. I just- I don't know how to fix that."

And at this exact moment, I realize that Eva is still so young. She's barely 20. Still navigating around what is real, and what she's been taught.

This may not even be that she hates me. Her hormones have to be everywhere right now. She's stressed as hell.

And I'm adding to that stress.

That's when I feel an overwhelming feeling of guilt. Eva needs space, and I don't know why I couldn't see that before. I never realized that I may have been being clingy.

Eva is an incredibly independent person, and me trying to get in the way of that, is overwhelming her.

"Oh shit," I mutter.

"What?"

"Yeah I am really the problem here. God I didn't even realize it,"

"Grey, are you thinking out loud?"

"Yeah. Sorry. You guys know her, she's really independent, and I am walking right over her. She needs less of me, and more independence."

"I wouldn't say less of you. Maybe less of your need to fix everything for everyone though." Brin says.

"Yeah. Yeah that. How do I show her that though?"

"Give her space and time, and when she's wants you
back around again, you go and show her."

"But what is she never wants me back around?"

"Grey, I promise you that she will."

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