𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐔𝐒 | 𝐑𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐧.【𝗘𝗡𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗛 𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡】

𝟏𝟖. 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒, 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆.

Sasha looked at Mavie with an expression of indignation on her face, not believing the words spoken by the brunette. Meanwhile, Jean and Connie were eating and looking at the two of them, not making much of the matter, but enjoying Blouse's reaction after Mavie said she didn't like to eat. Jean had already noticed how thin the girl was compared to the other recruits, however, he figured it was because her body really was that way, and was surprised when Jaeger told them about her bad diet.

- That's why you're skinny like that, creature! You need to eat some more. – Sasha said, handing her bread to her, who smiled awkwardly.

- Oh, no... I really don't feel like eating, but I'm fine with that. – the smaller one answered her kindly, she didn't want to worry her new colleague.

- And he doesn't like to drink water either. I've seen Eren fight you over this. – Jean intruded into the conversation, arching one of her eyebrows.

- Well... It's just that...

- Damn, huh? You want to die, is that it? It can only be this! He doesn't like to drink water and eat, it just needs to be said that he doesn't sleep either. – Springer interrupted him, shoving a large piece of meat into his own mouth.

Mavie didn't say anything else, just laughed as if that was one of the silly things said by the boy, who was always talking nonsense and laughing at his jokes, even if they were boring or didn't make any sense. "It's nice to have friends, it brings a sense of peace and comfort to my heart", she thought, as she watched them acting like three idiots that made her laugh like there was no tomorrow. "Have I ever laughed like this before?" Mavie asked herself, slowly nibbling on the bread Sasha had handed her minutes earlier. Having friends was good, especially if there were several of them and each one with a different but remarkable personality.

Ymir was a serious and sarcastic girl, who always made heavy jokes at inopportune moments; Christa, an angel. That blonde girl with blue eyes knew very well how to charm people with her sweet and gentle personality; Jean was a cocky boy with a super inflated ego, however, he was still a great person and a good colleague; Connie and Sasha had pretty much the same personality, the only difference between the two being that Sasha was a little smarter than the grey-haired boy.

- You're kind of nice, Mavie. You live silent and alone, you can never know what you are thinking or what you want to do. – Kirschtein said, smirking at the shorter girl next to him.

- It's true, I even thought you didn't like the three of us for being silly. – Sasha added, quickly swallowing what she was chewing.

Connie didn't say anything, just nodded her head as if she was listening to the conversation, however, her mind was on a cloud, imagining herself as an amazing soldier on top of a winged horse with a horn (alicorn).

- I'm just a little shy, not for bad...

- You hang out with Ymir and Christa a lot, right? They're nice people too, but "they", I mean "only Christa". - Jean rolled her eyes, remembering some unpleasant situations that the brunette with freckles put her through.

- I disagree, 'Jeanboy'. - Smiling mischievously, Blouse said, shrugging her shoulders.

- You say that because you are also their friend!

- For love, don't start arguing now… – Mavie asked, holding back to keep from laughing at them both.

- Meh. Once you get used to it, they are like that almost all the time. - Connie introduced herself among her friends, pushing them away so they wouldn't fall for the slap.

It was funny how the relationship between those three was based on love and hate, but in a healthy way. Jean and Sasha were always arguing with each other, always for a silly and unimaginable reason, however, none of that would stop them from going out together or being friends. Mavie, deep in her heart, wished her relationship with Eren was like that, as the two argued for personal reasons and went days without speaking to each other, only returning to interact when Mikasa or Armin forced them to apologize and make amends.

- I'm getting a little tired, I think I'll go to bed soon. – she lied, she didn't even feel sleepy and that was common.

- Goodnight!

Mavie said goodbye to her colleagues and left there, keeping as quiet as possible so that she wouldn't be discovered by any of her superiors, after all, it would be a big problem if any instructor found out about her, Jean, Connie and Sasha, who were all together, stealing the precious food from the warehouse.

[...]

Mavie Jaeger.

I'm sleepy and I can't sleep even though I urgently need it. I'm surprised? Not at all, I've gotten used to it, even if I didn't want to... It's been a few hours since I got dressed and left the cabin just to see the stars and snow falling to the ground, covering everything. The whole day was exhausting, I just wanted to be able to lie down and sleep, rest my body and relax my muscles. It sounds silly to say this, but the last and only time I slept well in the last 5 years was when I was with Reiner the night before. Would it be weird to think about him all the time since then? I used to think about him a lot, that's a fact, but now... It's become more frequent, I think about him practically 24 hours a day.

I'm confused and I don't know who to turn to, I'm alone in this and I'm going to have to turn around to try to find out how I really feel about Reiner. Before we kissed, it never crossed my mind that he might feel something for me, because let's see, I'm nothing compared to the other girls in our battalion.

They are so beautiful, skillful, delicate and have such beautiful and curvy bodies... What about me? I'm so thin I can clearly see all of my ribs whenever I'm naked in front of the mirror. My face is thin, my mouth is dry and always peeling, my eyes are sunken and full of dark circles, not to mention my hair, which is dry and brittle. Honestly, I'm pretty sure Reiner just kissed me because of the heat of the moment, I can't find any reason for anyone to look at me and think, "wow, that's beautiful!" because I know I'm not.

I'm just… not the kind of girl he'd like to call "mine".

I take a deep breath and let out a long sigh, I can see a little smoke coming out of my mouth, covering it with the coat I'm wearing. I lift my head and look up at the sky, looking straight at the moon and smiling to see it shine as magnificently as every night. I would like to be bright and majestic like her, the moon. People like the moon and they usually admire it for its beauty... I wish it would happen to me, even if it was just once, but... I don't want all people to admire or like me, just one would be enough: Reiner Braun.

I don't know what I feel for him, if it's admiration, gratitude or... Love...? I've never had experiences with this feeling before, much less have I met anyone who has, so they could help me know. Of course, there is Eren, but I can't tell him that, he would never understand and would do his best to keep me away from Reiner, saying that it would only get in the way and I don't want that! I don't... I don't want to be away from him.

I feel lost and confused, what should I do? I can't confess to him if I know that kiss only happened because of the heat of the moment, he would never kiss me. There are so many options, so many girls and even boys prettier than me, why would he want me? It made me so thoughtful and insecure, I have so much to give my all and in the end it hurts me.

In the books, the main couple always fall in love at the first eye contact they make or after a while of living together, when the chemistry between them flows until all their feelings for each other come to the surface. Heavens, how could I have been deceived by all these fictions? I was such a foolish child as to think that, someday, I would be loved the same... Well, if I were a little prettier and less shy, things might be different, maybe Reiner would see me as something more than a friend.

Dammit, why did he kiss me? Why did he have to do this? Was that his intention, to leave me with false hopes? I wanted to ask myself, but I don't have the courage to do so, so I have no choice but to stay like this, letting doubts gnaw at me.

Storyteller.

As she lost herself in her thoughts and let them go wild, Mavie didn't notice when the door beside her opened. It was Reiner, he had been looking for her for hours and was about to give up, but he found her in the most obvious place of all. As soon as he saw her, all distracted and thoughtful as he looked up at the sky, Braun's eyes gleamed as if it was the first time he'd seen her, even though he'd seen her several times and in almost every way possible. , she was always prettier every time I saw her again.

- You always find a way to isolate yourself, don't you?