𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐔𝐒 | 𝐑𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐧.【𝗘𝗡𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗛 𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡】

𝟔𝟔. (𝐈𝐍)𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘

Reiner Braun.

We were camping on top of the Shingashina District wall, talking about our plan to infiltrate back inside Wall Rose and eventually Sina. It still felt strange to be in Paradis again, a place where there used to be people who adored me and looked to me for inspiration, but who, in a matter of seconds, had me as their biggest enemy and wanted my head on a platter. I had a great view of Shingashina and could see every corner of that small district, thinking of the lives that I, along with Bertolt and Annie, had taken.

With pain in my heart, I tried to imagine Mavie in her childhood, on that tragic day and it hurts me so much that not even a cannon shot would make the pain worse than the one I feel whenever I remember her. Mavie has always been fragile, delicate and clumsy, she would have died if she hadn't been saved by a soldier. I lose a little more of my sanity every time I think about that possibility, of having to listen to Eren telling me about his family and quoting a twin sister who would also have passed away... I probably wouldn't feel so much sadness and wouldn't even really care , but thinking about it, I feel like a soulless monster. However, I must admit, I would have preferred that she had never left Shingashina alive. I really wanted her to die. That way, I would avoid your suffering and mine, too.

I wonder what our son is like and I try to imagine her with him in her arms, I also like to imagine the two of us, together and living a peaceful life in the mountains. A fairly large house, a pretty garden with a vegetable patch, a fence around our house, and a cart and horse to take us into town. This is a dream I will never be able to fulfill, the dream of living next to the girl I love and our son... I don't even know if I can refer to the baby like that. I don't even know your name, or if it's a boy or a girl... I don't deserve the title of father. I repudiated my own father so much that I became equal or worse than him, after all, I did the same as that bastard. I took advantage of Mavie's innocence, her care, her love and I didn't even have the courage to betray a nation that disgusts me to be with her, who really loved and cared for me. I'm so afraid of what might happen if we meet, because I don't know how your reaction or mine would be. I would probably have to kill her. And that... It hurts.

- Reiner, why did you shut up all of a sudden? Minutes ago, you wouldn't close your fucking mouth. – Zeke, our war chief, drew my attention to himself.

- Sorry, I was just a little pensive. Did you say anything important? – I questioned him, bringing my hand to the back of his neck.

- I know exactly what I was thinking, Reiner... – Bertholdt looked at me from the corner, with a sad expression.

- I don't want to talk about it.

- I understand, but you'll have to talk, stud. – again, it was Zeke who spoke, getting up and coming to me.

- Zeke, I don't think it's a good idea... We better leave her aside... Mavie doesn't represent any threat to the mission, remember? She doesn't even know how to defend herself! We don't have to be that extreme! Mavie must not even be fit to fight! Please... remember that she is your little sister... You have to be at least a little considerate. – Bertholdt put himself in front of the bearded blond, trying to defend Mavie at all costs, something that surprised me.

- Reiner needs to decide what he wants, wasn't he the one who made her head so that she would turn into a whore in his hand? Now, he must face the consequences of his actions. And then, "honey cock", after eating my little sister, getting her pregnant and leaving, you don't want her to come with us? So you can live your fairy tale with your "little princess". – Zeke said, in a mocking tone.

- No. I already told Pieck that I don't agree with that. I can't take her away from her friends and family... I can't... I can't. – I widened my eyes as the older one approached me.