𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐔𝐒 | 𝐑𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐧.【𝗘𝗡𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗛 𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡】

𝟒𝟎. 𝐀 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒.

Mavie Jaeger.

Exhausted. That's how I feel. The day was really hectic. I think the last time I was like this was the day we needed to help Eren close the hole in Wall Rose.

My legs and arms are all sore, it feels like I've been run over by a cart and trampled by a herd of pigs. When I showered and the cold water touched my body, I felt a little relief as I felt the sweat being washed away, even the pains subsided a little. Showering really takes away the bad energies we've built up throughout the day, and that still amazes me.

Tonight I asked Reiner to sleep with me again and he accepted, I look forward to lying next to him, caressing his face and stroking his beautiful blonde hair, all while watching the serene expression and calm stamped on his face, he always reacts like this when I show the slightest concern for him.

Before, I thought it was cute, but after knowing his life story, I started to feel sorry, after all, it was a little obvious why he is so needy and is always doing his best in everything he does, even in things minimum. Even though we all have great admiration and inspiration for him, Reiner continues to try to impress us, or rather make us proud. I feel bad about it, really. Reiner had a rough childhood, after all. When I see him being affectionate and considerate to all of us, I imagine that he wants us to feel loved and welcomed, that we don't need to be shaken by our failures, because he will be here to support and help us, after all, they didn't do it for him when needed... It makes me so sad.

Childhood trauma still causes problems for Reiner, even if he doesn't show it and has only had one relapse in my presence. I wish I had known him before, to always be by his side to give him the love and affection he needed so much his whole life, I could have avoided at least some of the suffering he had. What reassures me is that, despite everything he suffered as a child, he remained a good person and did not let himself be carried away by the pain that the lack of a family caused him, he may not have been able to overcome it, but if kept with a pure and good heart, thankfully.

I never imagined that I would ever want this or that it would happen so soon, I feel like a silly girl in love, just like in the fairy tales I used to read when I was younger, but... I want to build a life next door his. I want to take care of him every day of my life and make him feel loved by me, I want him to feel welcomed and protected, I want him to know what it's like to have a family that loves him. Reiner is a good person, with a big heart and full of love to give and receive, I am willing to fill him with all my love, I want him to feel special to me the same way he makes me feel. I love Reiner. I really love him, I love him so much that I don't know if I could live without his presence in my daily life, however, I can't see myself depending emotionally on one more person, it would ruin my mental health for good.

In a few days we will go on our first expedition, meet titans along the way to Wall Maria, so I have to be aware that something could happen not only to him but to all my friends. I knew that I would have to deal with the death of colleagues constantly from the moment I started to be part of the Survey Corps, so I need to take it all and just get over the pain that the losses will cause me, even if it hurts so much to the point. to make me think about giving up, which I won't do. Since the day the titans attacked us again, a feeling grew in my chest, a feeling that had been born for years, however, it only grew and created strength now.

I never felt immeasurable anger or revolt inside me, not even when I lost my parents that day, after all, I closed myself off to all feelings other than sadness and anguish, there were few times I exploded with anger. I finally understand clearly what my brother has always felt, I just didn't want to understand it in such a painful way.

[...]

Storyteller.

When it got dark, Mavie went out to eat with Armin and Mikasa, but soon returned to the inn as soon as she finished her meal, giving them an excuse that she was too tired after spending all day training, even though they both knew she was leaving. though because he was going to meet a certain blonde with a big nose, aka Reiner Braun.