547 days

Scream 💀

Today was a good day
From watching scream, to barburrito to bubble tea, then chilling with A, then my dad ruining everything.

Cinema wasn't comfortable I had to keep repositioning myself to find a comfortable position. I snuggled up next to him . Film was goryyyyy now I get why it was an 18. But I liked the plot twist at the end and all the snacks I had lol. Then we had barburrito which I loveeeeee it's so good i think it's the mushrooms and guacamole combined together which makes it so good. Then we had bubbleology and I had the biscoff one which was nice but rose was probably tastier and that's when A was really making me laugh lol. I love it when he's in his goofy mood lol.

We went to his and watched a bit of the whale. It looks okay but I don't get the hype, it seems kinda slow and boring to get into. But it looks interesting ?

And then that's when things got saucy lol. I mean it did a bit in the cinema I enjoyed that my self not gonna lie . I think at this point he knows me really well and what gets me and even the stuff he says it's just so hot lol. Like he said something like "I did say I was gonna" etc etc etc. and then he did something else that I liked lol. I like it when he takes charge basically, without giving too much away., I don't really like writing about things we do too much cos it should be kept between us. But he really does the right stuff lol. 

I'm due on next week or within the next few days and I'm ngl I was feeling quite spicy yesterday but tried to suppress it, I didn't do anything I normally don't anyway I just distract myself until the feeling passes but you can't help your hormones like it's a natural thing that happens during your cycle , hormones are all over the place. He was playfully kissing me too lol like blowing into my mouth😂 idk I just love it when he's playful and stuff . He had to cover my mouth at one point but I honestly can't help it , like I don't think, sometimes I will honestly try my best but in the moment it's like my brain switches off. Maybe that's why his parents left now that I think of it 😭😭😭😭 we finished at the same time, Felt my body go weak. I feel it everywhere like in my arms and stuff and even my stomach?

His sister did come down and I low-key did want to meet her and say hi but I also knew I didn't have that much time to just chill with A as well, so I was half expecting her to be downstairs by the time I'd leave to say hi to her then .

We snuggled after and I looooveeeed that, I just like being close and snuggling and he was like he could just fall asleep until tomorrow morning and honestly I'm not even ashamed to admit , for a split second I was thinking to risk it all and just stay the night cos I was so tired myself too and I was so comfy. But then that's when my dad called 🙄

There was a fight going on in the train station and yelling and I did get a bit scared and A said do you want me to turn back which I appreciated but i didn't think anything major was gonna happen so that was fine.

———

He does a lot for us , he's a provider and provides for me more so than my other friends dads tbh, I can't deny that. I'll fully admit it. and works even at his age, he's gonna be 70. But my God does he know how to cause arguments.

My mums like he's been worried sick, don't you think of his heart? And I'm like I'm so done with you both, i get call after call after call I eventually told myself I'm gonna put it on flight mode. I don't care anymore, I don't care if you get worried, I genuinely don't care. My mums like you know he's a worrier and he worries fast, why don't you just update us and say you're at the train station.

I came home and didn't speak a word to my dad and neither did he, I said before do not drag my friends into things either.

I feel so bad for the way I've probably treated my mum in the past thinking she's the unfair one but it's my dad.

I love him I do it's such a weird feeling to have for someone, I'd take a bullet for him, even after anything. Because he's my dad. But my relationship with him is like no other.

But everything's fine now but it's ALWAYS so unnecessary. Like it ruins my entire mood.
Oh well it's done now.

I've got this privacy screen on my phone now that A put on and it actually works lol feel like I'm working for the government.

His dog or his brothers dog, literally came running up to me and I'm like bro what do u want 🫣😂 also I like his dad lol he seems funny.

Also A does a really good scooby doo impression😂😂😂😂

OH AND!!! Majorrrrr thing. He listened to Einaudi the other day and liked the song Experience which I can't listen to without flashbacks lol. I do this with any song tho, any song I listen to during a moment with friends or whatever, I associate it with them and the memory stays forever. But he told me about this ticket website or something I forgot what it's called.

And another thing, I low-key wish I asked him for his blue light discount for the cinema tickets but it's fine.

He mentioned my sisters to his friends last night which is calm I don't mind but I genuinely hadn't thought about this one point in so long. How my personality is the perfect mix of both my sisters. And I'm stuck in the middle. I've been told this by so many people like those who are close to me, like I've genuinely got both of their personalities, ays is her own person and Aylar is her own person and they're completely different yet I somehow have both their qualities and my own qualities too. And it's true, I do get stuck in the middle but I also know what I want.

I was looking at houses to rent the other day lol. Not even bc of my parents cos things are fine with my parents, I just low-key wanna move out now, I have a savings account but at the same time I think it would be a dumb move to move out when I don't need to pay any bills just yet. When I start working I'll contribute but for the time being I'm kinda comfortable and don't have any worries so why would I do that to myself but I genuinely think I might next year. Who knows? 

Honestly I really did enjoy myself today, it was fun and happy like what more do you need.

I'm shattered tho. Need a shower then sleep. If I think of more things to write about then I will tomorrow
Good night diary
21:42pm