547 days

11.4

Ended up falling asleep around 2am. Woke up at 3:30am, drank water, had like two grapes, ate a few tiny pieces of chicken, and had half a hot cross bun. It was a really tasty hot cross bun, was a chocolate version. But only ate half cos I wasn't that hungry. Then slept around 4am and woke up at 5am. So I've had about 2.5 hours of sleep lol.

Did a light workout. Really light, but felt like doing something.  I was debating waking her up (she was already awake) or taking the car myself but I cba for the drama of that, I'd get home and it would be another argument.

Surprisingly not that tired with only 2.5 hours of sleep. I'm sure it'll hit me later

Reminder: ask A to call the dentist up for me to change appt. Don't want parents doing it
6:19am

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What a shitshow of a morning lol. Don't wanna go home tonight

Second person I see walking in the building is nick. And he mentions straight away that he's working the same floor as me. I was like okay cool. It's been decent today and people are chill. Two people literally said to my face they like me. And as I was leaving the patient room, I hear the patient tell the nurse "she's lovely she's so nice" I was like Awwww . Love it.

Nick is leaving at 3. He has already mentioned ice cream. He said
I don't think I'm gonna get that ice cream am I. Something like that....

Urgh anyways.

Third person said I'm nice today! Bless him. Was a patient. He was genuinely so lovely. Made him a cup of tea and told him I'm not the best at making tea cos I like mine like 70% milk 30% water 😂 and he was like well done this is good. As he was leaving he saw me and rubbed my shoulder and said good luck and I hope you live a good life. That really got to me. I hope I do live a good life truly.

I was also the first person to get called into a red alarm call just now. The patient collapsed and I was walking past the room, the family member called me for help. The patient had fainted, was pale / yellow. Vomited on the floor. Then all the seniors came running in. Was kinda scary it made me sad. I was actually with that patient this morning, helped her get into bed and things . I thought she didn't like me cos she was on about bible study and I'm obviously a Muslim. But I was extra friendly with her to change whatever perception she may have on Muslims.

Todays actually been decent. Slow. But it's been better than previous days. I've enjoyed it so far. I'm telling myself I'm working until 5 (I'm working until 7:30) but it's so chilled after 5. So it kinda goes by fast. So I kinda have 3 hours left hypothetically😂 ah man I'm craving almond fingers.

Ilham sent me a screenshot and spire declined but I told her there's reason behind everything.my feet hurt. Been looking at cars to buy today too. I could probably afford one nowish. But can properly buy one next week. I'm low-key tempted to just get a fox cos I like VWs, they're good cars. I've saved a few cars I like so far.
Having a quick ten min break to rest my feet
I really enjoy talking to patients so much.

13:43 pm

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On lunch now. I'd go later during Ramadan but I really needed to sit down. I normally go at 4/5. Buts it's 15:35pm right now. It's been hectic from like 2pm til now. At one point I was doing three things at once, nurses asking me to do things whilst on my way to see patients. Was crazy. And it was only me working during those hours idk where the other two HCAs were.

I spoke to a patients wife for a bit as I was showing her the coffee room and bloody hell some people have funny personalities. She is a part time fashion and interior designer and she really kept on top of herself, takes care of herself. Worked for Dior for 10 years, gets sent Dior care packages and uses Dior skincare. This woman was 62 but looked 48. She loved me and came to say bye to me when she was leaving. I loved her as well. Complete different lifestyles but So sophisticated.
At one point I did think to myself, imagine living like that. But I thought it in a negative way not positive. She was talking about how she doesn't let herself indulge in chocolate because the way she looks is really important to her and that's fair, I understand that, but imagine not letting yourself live life and enjoy dessert from time to time. Imagine if she seen the way I eat dessert 😂 she'd be mortified lol. But besides that, she's living it up, eating salmon 3x a week, which I absolutely love. I goes to her, next time you have salmon invite me over 😂 and I loved this vintage coat she has on and she goes you know what everyone's said that to me but when I no longer want it, I'll come down here and specifically ask for you to give to😂 she tried to learn my name really quick and kept calling me. A lot of people, mainly patients complimented my name today and two tried to guess my ethnicity I got Syrian, Somalian, Jordanian, and eventually the rich fashion lady guessed Persian lol

Another patient was like I can tell you got a sweet tooth. ONG GET THIS, a patient said to me city road is really rough at night. I was like come again?? Are we going to the same city road???

I've made friends with the kitchen staff and housekeeping and one just saw me and showed me a secret room and she goes just say you were praying. I love her. I get on so well with the older people here. There's this Indian guy who i thought was a bit dodgey when I first started but he's decent and there's this gay guy who I really like he's about 24 and he's always looking out for me. I've met A few more nurses today and they're all so lovely. I did think one was a bit off but she came around. I'm not tired yet ngl but if I wanted to sleep I could lol.  There's an empty patient bed to my left right now and I'm super tempted to jump on it and sleep. I genuinely could as well. It sucks cos my day has been going so well and I just know that when I go home it'll be ruined.

Idek if my mum is even picking me up with the way she yelled at me and threw her phone at me this morning . Once upon a time, something like that would ruin my whole mood but I let it be cos I don't care anymore. The whole phone thing story is this:

This morning I gave a bit of an attitude, not a major one I'll admit but I wasn't talking as nice cos I wanted to drive but that's whatever, I kinda kept quiet and to myself. I told her I knew the directions so I didn't need to use maps and she goes well I don't wanna ask you for directions so put it in maps. So I don't say anything and put the directions in maps on my phone and then she goes give me my phone. So I take her phone out and I put it by this place near the gear stick cos she's driving so I didn't wanna give it to her. Like not in her hand. I'll admit I didn't place it gently but I didn't chuck her phone either. And she literally throws her phone at me wallah, like not even a chuck, it was a full on throw. Quite impressive with left hand and driving I'll give her that😂 and she goes give it to me properly so I gave it to her but kinda forcefully just put it in her hand and she goes no give it properly and I said no . In my head I was like bruv it's 6am like. Allow it.

I've been looking at more cars and houses or flats to rent. I'm genuinely being serious like I've been doing this for time, looking at places to rent and every single time something like this happens, it just solidifies my decision even more. I think I'll be happier. And by the sounds of it, they'll be happier too lol.

Listen I love my parents but I have such a. Confusing relationship with them. I wanna have them in my life but I don't wanna be micromanaged and controlled by them. Urgh idk.

I've sort of planned my life out for next year if all goes to plan inshAllah. There's a Hadith or quote in the Quran that says "and they plan but Allah is the best of planners" but I'm hoping my life will start to take shape next year. I have a few plans .

Why does time go by so fast on break. Someone offered me hot chocolate and urghhhhh. I've actually not been tempted today but I'm extremely thirsty. Not sure why. If I had the car I would have gone to get food I'm peckish. I could order food to the hospital but I really need to save money. Omg I'm fancying some microwaved cheese on toast with ketchup and Nando's perinaise sauce tonight. Nando's halloumi sticks pleaaaaaaseee they're my fave. I still don't know how I'm gonna go to the wax clinic this Saturday. I was gonna ask tash for a lift but she isn't free.

Tempted to ask A to pick me up on Saturday but parents will be all on my case but I low-key kinda don't care.

3 more hours and then I'll be back here to do it all again tomorrow 🤫

So right now I've got my eye on 3 cars
Two A sent me , Kia and I've seen a Vw fox.
I'm also looking to order dessert or bubble tea lol