waiting

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tw: slight gore, stabbing, angst
i play with the hem of my shorts as i wait to hear from the nurses working alongside the surgeon. my foot taps in a continuous motion, attempting to distract my brain from the stress i am under. karissa was rushed to the hospital, after i terrifyingly found her with eight stab wounds in her stomach. that was just over 5 hours ago. the moment forever encapsulated as it replays in my mind.

i remember it so clearly. i come home from work a little later than usual, looking for her; as i do everyday. she wasn't downstairs, or in the living room. she was upstairs, on our bed, facing away from the stairs. i thought she was just sleeping. i was wrong. i go to cover her up with a blanket so she can sleep peacefully, but i see blood. a shit ton of blood. panic instantly fills my brain and i begin to sob. i turn her over, seeing inch long gashes all over her stomach. from what i can see, the blood isn't that fresh.

"wake up! karissa wake up please. baby wake up!" you say, violently shaking her, tears pouring down your face. a pulse. you check her pulse. a wave of relief washed over me. she had a pulse; but wasn't waking up. i need to call 911. dialing the number you pace around the room sobbing; unable to think of a way to distract myself.

"911, what is the location of your emergency?"

"81 lakeview drive"

"what do you need?"

"everything. my girlfriend has been stabbed." you say, breath shaky

"i will have emergency services at your door in 5 minutes."

"okay thank you."

as the line disconnects, you try and stop the bleeding. using your shirt, you compress what looks like the deeper wounds. you hear a knock on the door, and open it.

"upstairs, on the bed." you say,

they surround her body, as one follows another up the stairs, using anything they can to stabilize her. meanwhile, the police try to find anything they can to collect evidence. you stand off to the side, as they carry her off on a stretcher.

"can i come with?"

"if you'd like to. we ask that you sit in the front so you can properly be seated with a seat belt."

you didn't know if she was gonna make it.

"fuck, okay."

the drive for you was horrendous, and not knowing the status of your lover made it all worse. you arrived at the emergency wing of the hospital in a few minutes, where you were asked to go inside and have a seat. when they rushed karissa in, she was on oxygen, alive and breathing. nurses swarmed her, calling out different things. she was rushed down the hall, and you wanted to follow her. you wanted to be there and tell her she was going to be okay, that she was going to live, but you couldn't. you had to sit in a small uncomfortable hospital chair, doing nothing. hours go by, until a nurse comes through the doors. you hoped and prayed it was for you. it was.

"miss? she's stable, but not awake. you can see her if you'd like."

fear washed over your body. for some odd reason, you were nervous. "okay." you say, as you gather your things, and follow the nurse down the hall.

"here she is. nurses might be in periodically to check her vitals."

"that's okay, thank you so much."

as you enter the room, karissa is sitting up, smiling at you.

"i think i'm supposed to be sleeping." she says

you smile, "yeah i think so."

"well, come here!" she says

"i don't wanna hurt you.."

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