It's not easy to pick sides. Everyone has secrets, secrets they want hidden and buried. What extent would you go to hide your secrets? How far would you go for self preservation?
Like father, like daughter.
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T...
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Your body is urging you to move, but you just can't.
It felt like time was swallowing you whole, and you were trapped in a loop as your eyes stared at your screen.
The words were playing in your head over and over.
"Are you alone?"
What to do? Hang up, maybe say a goodbye? Possibly a small 'fuck off' would do it?
Your rationale was thin.
"Yes..."
You could barely manage to get your piece out. Your breath was catching in your throat as you leaned on the counter.
You heard a condescending chuckle from the other side of the line. He could hear your tone.
"How has my daughter been doing? No one has been bothering you, have they?"
You were becoming self-aware now. If you weren't able to regain yourself now, then you'd be in for a horrible next thirty minutes. A back and forth is one thing, but being on a one-sided narcissistic scheme is hell, and you knew that.
"What do you want?"
You wanted to come off as if you were in a hurry. Hopefully, it would speed this up.
But then again, you both knew that you wouldn't have anything important at this time of night. So you were already slipping up.
"I don't want anything. I just wanted to see how you've been."
You stayed quiet. It was better not to answer than to answer and make a fool of yourself.
He just sighed as you heard shuffling through the phone.
"You haven't been talking to me for months.. it's only natural, I would be worried. How could a parent not?"
Your body was getting heated with rage as you gritted your teeth. Why was it that every time you found a little bit of comfort, it was soon to be replaced?
"Worried? About me? Since when were you capable of that?"
Your stomach twisted, and you picked at your skin as your body closed in on itself. You felt exposed in a way. Even through a phone call, you didn't feel safe. And what your body did to comfort you was of no use.
You hung up, then what? Maybe he would just come and visit in person.
Your breathing is jagged, eyes glossy, throat dry,
"[Y/n]."
Your heart was fast and slow at the same time. The cold atmosphere was sinking in on you with its teeth.
"[Y/n]?"
It's like you were being taken away from reality, but you weren't. Your mind flashed with your thoughts, emotions, and fears simultaneously. Visions from the past flooded your consciousness like a tragic wave.
"..."
"What?.."
It's been a long while since you felt like this.
You could still feel the warm red substance flowing through your fingers and staining your children's clothes.
"You know how weak you are, dear. You're not a stable person. As your father, I worry for you. But I can only help you when you talk to me. Are you still having nightmares?"
"No..."
Your hands were clutching your head as you lowered your voice.
Your mind is wearing down on you. You haven't had a panic attack in months. You couldn't cope with this. Given your situation, it was hard to.
You felt like a little kid again. You were so small, fragile, innocent, clueless. And this father is but a man, no, a snake. A snake with a sweet smile, shiny scales, and it was so beautiful, in fact, that at first glance, you wouldn't think twice about picking it up.
"Make sure to take your medicine. The psychiatrist worked well with you to prescribe it. Don't let it go to waste. All that money I spent on you, and for what? For you to turn out like your mother?..."
You were just giving dry responses, 'yes..', 'I know', 'of course, sir'.
"You know she was a sick woman? How poorly she raised you, it'ssickening. I feel terrible for... I feel terrible.."
You were coming down from your earlier rise. You were much more desensitized. This was normal. It was funny how differently you would have reacted if you had not been able to get away from this for at least this much time.
And this was making you realize just how far you would go to never have to go back.
"I.. I need to go now, it's getting late."
You were tired, so tired.
"... of course you are dear. But remember, I'm always here, for you, of course."
You picked up your phone and hovered your finger over the end call button. Your hands, they were shakey.
"Yes, I know, dad..."
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Started: September 16th, 2023 Finished: Septemeber 17th, 2023
We see you, Opal. Your troubles are miles away. We see you, Opal. And in our eyes, you'll stay...
