Little Hearts❤❤❤

80. Ram Aur Priya Ki Kahani

Ram sat down on his chair. The letter Priya gave him kept lying in front of him for some time. He was scared, very scared to read it. Taking some deep breaths, he decided to read finally. He opened the letter and began to read.

Dear Mr. Kapoor,

What is forgiveness really? Pretending that nothing happened and get on with life or accepting that your loved ones are as imperfect as you are and they could make mistakes too even when you least expect it. I hope it's the later one.

Main meri zindagi mein jitne logon se mili hoon, jinse mera rishta hai, laghbhag sab ne kahin na kahin, kabhi na kabhi mujhe hurt kiya hai. Farq sirf itna hai ke kisine jaan bujhke kiya hai, toh kisine anjaane mein aur mujhe nahi pata ke unn sab ko main kabhi dil se maaf kar payungi ya nahi, kyunki zyadatar logon ke yeh manne se hi inkaar kar diya ke unhone jo kaha hai ya jo kiya hai usse mujhe takleef pohochi hai. Shayad woh manna chahte bhi nahi hain. Main yeh baat kabhi nahi samajh paayi ke koi aise, itne aiso araam ki zindagi kaise jee sakta hai, itne bure kaam karne ke baad bhi. Nahi, main aapki baat bilkul nahi kar rahi, dusro ki baat kar rahi hoon. Main toh kabhi iss guilt se nikal hi payungi yeh janne ke baad ke meri wajah se aapko aur Pihu ko kitni takleefein jhelni padi hai. Aur mujhe nahi lagta main kabhi khudko maaf bhi kar payungi.

Mere liye maafi ya forgiveness hamesha se yeh hi raha hai ke maine maan liya hai jo hua mere saath, maine khudko uske liye doshi thehraya aur kar gayi move on. Aur shayad issi liye kabhi asal mein move on nahi kar paayi. Maine maan liya tha ke main ek shraap hoon jab Mr. Sood ne mujhe aisa kaha tha. Maine maan liya tha ke main har kissi ki zindagi mein dukh aur mushkilon ka paigham laati hoon.

Maine maan liya tha jab Neeraj ne kaha tha ke mujh mein na hai roop na tameez. Aur toh aur main logon ko dikaane ke kabil bhi nahi hoon. Bohot logon ne yeh bhi kaha hai ke meri zabaan bohot chalti hai kyunki main ek feminist hoon aur mere daawe bohot zyada hai. Toh maan liya maine ke meri zarooratein aur ashayein aasmaan choone wale hain, jaisa unhone kaha tha.

Maine yeh bhi maan liya ke mujhe kabhi pyaar milega nahi, toh dhoondhna hi kyun jab koi aapka ho hi na. Inn baaton se mujhe bohot bura laga tha aur uska pravab meri soch aur zindagi dono mein padi hai.

Maine hamesha khudko badnaseeb aur pyaar na milne ke laayak hi samjha hai. Aur phir aap meri zindagi mein aaye. Sach mein main aap jaise kisi se nahi isse pehle. Aur mujhe pata hai ke main gusse mein jitna bhi keh loon aap kissi bhi tarah se unn jaise nahi hain. Aapne mujhe yeh bharosa dilaya hai ke main bhi pyaar deserve karti hoon, main bhi respect deserve karti hoon. Toh shayad issi liye iss baar main maan nahi paa rahi mere saath jo hua kyunki mujhe pata hai woh mera dosh nahi tha. Mujhe pata hai ke woh na hi aapke shabd the aur na hi aap ki soch, par maine yeh ummeed ki thi ke aap kuch kahenge. Khair main aapko iske liye aur koshna nahi chahti kyunki main samajh sakti hoon ke aap uss sthiti mein nahi the ke aap ko samajh bhi aaye ke aap ke aas paas ho kya raha hai. Aur main trust karti hoon ke woh baatein phir se kabhi dohorayi nahi gayi ya aap ne bhi kabhi soch ke nahi dekha uss baare mein. Main trust karti hoon aap ko. Mujhe nahi lagta maine sach mein kabhi aap pe bharosa khoya bhi tha aur na hi kabhi bharosa karna chorhungi. Aap ko pata hai kyun? Kyunki unn kuch insaanon mein se ek hain jinse mein aur achha expect karti hoon. Mujhe pata hai ke aap achhe hain par mujhe yeh bhi pata hai ke aap isse better bann sakte hain.

Main ab bhi yeh samajhne ki koshish mein lagi hoon ke kisiko maaf karna apne mann ki shanti ke liye hota hai. Tara ne kaha yeh mujhse. Aapko pata hai usne mujhse kaha ke mujhe aapko maaf karne ke liye yeh baatein accept nahi karni hai. Jo hua woh galat tha aur main yeh soch ke bhi aage badh sakti hoon ke main unn baaton ko apni zindagi bikarne nahi de sakti. Main yeh soche bina bhi aage badh sakti hoon ke ismein mera koi dosh nahi tha. Aur main aapko uss baat ki aur saza nahi dena chahti. Mujhe pata hai aap waise nahi hain aur na hi aap mujhe kabhi jaan bujhke hurt karenge. Toh main aapko maaf karti hoon. Main nahi chahti ke mere mann mein aisi koi baat reh jaaye jo hamare aane wale kal ko bardasht karna pade. Aur main aapse itni ummeed rakhti hoon ke jo hua woh phir kabhi nahi hoga.