Beat Down ➵ au h.s

Chapter 41

[a/n: this chapter will be mostly based off of Brianna and Zayn, it's still important.]

I be thinking in my bed, lot of things in my head, contemplating in my head. And if we can go steady we can go steady. - Trevor Moran, I wanna Fly

Brianna's POV

I clutched my pillow tears leaving my eyes. It was hard to even move, my body was weak and I refused to get out of my room. I knew my mom was trying to get me out of bed but I couldn't. I'm so exhausted with everything that's happened, how could he do something like this, it's like he was waiting for the perfect moment where I was weak to end things.

It was so sudden, I didn't know what for. I wanted him to least explain, but he just up and left. I don't even know what I did wrong, was I too much to handle at the moment? What did he expect? My head was whirling with thoughts that I couldn't handle, I didn't want my mom over worrying about me so I decided that fresh air would be good for me.

After showering and changing into a new pair of clothes I made my way outside to my car, my mom was surprised to see me out of my room but she gave me a small smile.

After getting into my car I put on the radio, I didn't want to be left in silence to think, it hurt too much.

I didn't know exactly where I was going but I was doing the best I could to just make it somewhere, the diner wasn't an option seeing as Zayn would most likely be there. It was one of his main spots, it was where I met him. I had been working a late shift and stupidly thought it would be a good idea to still approach tables whilst I was exhausted.

Due to my lack of sleep I had gotten into the booth half asleep and absentminded of what I was exactly I was doing, I had rested my head on his shoulder and fell asleep. Fortunately Zayn had covered for me when my boss saw it happen, saying that he was a close friend and I hadn't seen him for a long time.

Shaking my head to rid my thoughts I stopped at the park, when Lucas was a little child and still didn't know how to walk I was a little child and used to try and help him, my mom used to find it adorable.

There was once when we were walking when he was a bit older and I was starting middle school, it had previously rained the day before and he stepped in the puddle without knowing, mud had clung to him when he tripped over mud, I remember the look on my mom's face when he walked inside the house absolutely drenched.

The first thing he had done was put on a fake frown exclaiming that I pushed him.

A quiet laugh left my mouth at the same time a tear rolled down my cheek.

It was weird how things could easily change, yet you didn't think they could happen to you, or to your life along with those around you.

I looked up when someone cleared their throat, looking up I sighed grabbing my phone and keys, I went to stand up but he pushed his hand gently on my shoulder.

However I didn't want to talk to him, it was way too soon. I opened my mouth to say something but it's like the air was pulled from my lungs, burning and crashing with tears stinging in my eyes as I stood up a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes came up to us intertwining her fingers with Zayn.

He opened his mouth but close it, "Hi I'm Perrie." I nodded holding my hand out to her already outstretched one.

"Brianna." My voice surprisingly hadn't cracked, I didn't even glance at Zayn before telling Perrie it was a pleasure to meet her and rushing to my car.

It felt like as if I was gasping for air as the tears continuously rolled down my cheeks, luckily I hadn't worn any makeup not even putting an effort into my appearance.

My mind was in a mess, tears blurring my vision as I entered the club. I could feel many people's gazes on me as I walked up to the bar, I was surprised that after five minutes people were already requesting to buy me drinks.

Even some girls were knowing what state I was in and what had happened, they felt sympathy for me because they had went through the same thing as me.

I thought about how I had changed, I had gotten multiple tattoos, a nose piercing, but I hadn't really changed much. I wish I was the naive little girl I was when I was a toddler, not having a care in the world and the only argument between a guy was if I had cooties or not.

I guess life wasn't as fair as we all wanted it to be. It really fucking sucks.

                               •••

The thing was I don't know how many drinks I had, my words were slurred and my mind was swaying away with my body. Disoriented, I got into my car not giving it a second thought.

I swear I could see little red and yellow swirls in the air, kinda like ketchup and mustard.

Ewwww, I fucking hate mustard.

A giggle left my mouth as I got onto the road, there didn't seem to be many cars out her except for one. 

Wait what's that light?

"Beeeeeep"

"Beeeepp"

Haha, I didn't sent an alarm did I? I continue to make the loud beeping noise as it continued.

I couldn't tell if I had slowed down, but it felt as if I was going faster? Ohhhh my foot isn't supposed to be on that right?

Hey, that light's getting brighter, fuck my head hurts.