Beat Down ➵ au h.s

Epilogue

"and california never felt like home to me." - Halsey

Harry's POV

It's crazy just how things can go perfect or just how fast someones life can crumble to the ground.
How fast it takes for someone you thought you could trust turns into someone who ruins your life.

I never really liked crying, it made me feel weak, it made me feel like everyone else in the world. I didn't know if it was right for me to be here right now, despite her parents wanting me to, it's taking everything in my body, and Louis holding me back, from running to the casket and trying to get her to somehow come back to me, I wanted to end him, Niall caused all of this, it took him one bullet to kill Christina, one bullet to her skull.

Why he had done it was no excuse, he had been lucky the cops showed up before I had the chance to kill him with my bare hands, he had shot heroine into Yen's daughter, it was why she was extra loopy that day, for fun and agreed to help him so his name would be clear, why killer her still? To make it feel like he was actually helping him, so Yen's other men wouldn't track him down. It angered me to the point where all I could see was red.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as people cleared the area, Louis had said something but it was as if I had gone deaf and couldn't hear him or the world around me. I had only got to tell her I loved her twice, my plane was leaving in three hours and I knew I should be getting ready to leave for London but my heart was heavy and it felt as if I couldn't move.

Her smile, her laugh, her eyes, her everything, there was nothing but painful memories stored in my head and my phone's camera roll left of her. She wouldn't get to know that I had been paying for her mother to be in a better rehab since the day she was kidnapped, I would never get to see her face brighten when her mum told she was recovered in  few months from now. I felt my fist collide with the tree next to me before my nails scraped against the healing cuts on my wrist, I needed her here with me, she was the one person who kept me sane and balanced, the only person who made it feel right to hold.

I clenched my jaw looking at the workers who were now finishing up the grave, slowly and shakily I stood up, my eyes burning with my throat holding a lump in it, the one girl I've been able to love and let in, the one girl who was ale to tune out what others said about me and love me back, was gone and now so am I. I'm breathing, standing here but I feel dead, once I get on that plane to London with Louis, I would never come back to this horrid place. Zayn and Brianna would soon move here when the baby was born, with Liam following.

I guess that I wasn't paying attention to reality, I guess none of us did, we were told in the beginning to leave, but fell in love and did the crazy thing and stayed.

In a sense we were blinded on what we craved and didn't pay attention when we were told that reality would bring us to our knees, we were warned from the beginning we would be beat down.