Good Girls Are Bad Girls That Don't Get Caught

Chapter 12: My Awesome Ninja Moves

Chapter 12: My awesome ninja moves.

 “Will you stop that!” my aunt shouted making me jump as I turned my wide eyes on her, the metal spoon still in my mouth. Blinking I swallowed the chocolate goodness in my mouth and moaned in pleasure, there is nothing like starting a Saturday morning off with a bowl of ice cream. Not that I was trying to get a sugar rush from being kept awake all night because of a house party, that was totally not the reason I was giving myself brain freeze.

Yeah, that little shit decided to keep the whole neighbourhood awake with his late night booty calls that turn into house parties where inconsiderate little shits feel the need to share their garbage, like thank you, no really thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will treasure you aid filled cans as if my life depended on it. Ugh, bunch of idiots. Did they not get that this was all part of his stupid revenge for ‘accidently’ making him face palm the floor last week?

Deciding that I had had enough of staring at my aunt who was giving me the stink eye, I raised an eyebrow and questioned, “What?”

My aunt sighed and rolled her eyebrows before straightening her pen and continued writing on the folder perched on her folded legs. “You've been moaning as if you are a dog getting its stomach stroked.”  She muttered making me snort.

Deciding to ignore her insult, I sink the spoon into the half melted ice cream going for another spoonful. “Really?” I question as I plopped it into my mouth, moaning louder than before.

When she doesn’t glance up at me I shake my whole body. “I'm sorry it’s just so delicious.” I exclaim.

Aunt June stopped what she was doing and leaned forward, her eyes scrunching my baggy t-shirt and messy bun.  Under her scrutinising gaze she declared, “The amount you have eaten since you’ve been here is enough to feed a whole army.” she informed.

Placing the spoon in the bowl I made a show of rubbing my belly. “What can I say? I have to feed the little elves in my stomach, if I don’t they get angry and turn into ugly trolls.” I told her drawing her eyes to my full stomach.

“You have elves in your stomach?” she asked slowly as if talking to an imbecile. Well, she was talking to me so I will give her that.

“We all do”

“You expect me to believe that? That there is a bunch of eves in everybody’s stomach. You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope and sometimes they climb up and out of your mouth that's wh-” I was cut off by the sound of the doorbell.

My aunt pushed the stack of folders of her lap and leaped up, an evil smile on her face as she faced me. I frowned, leaning forward waiting for her to explain. “That will be Jessica.” She informed in a sing song tone.

Oh. Hell. No.

Anything but Satan’s daughter! Why not put a gun to my head I’m sure that will be less painful!

Unfolding my own legs I made a move to stand up. “What! You never told me the little brat was coming here!” I hissed as I frantically searched for a quick escape. Where were the secret passages like every film?

Aunt June smiled wickedly before sheepishly scratching her neck. “Oh my! Didn’t I tell you? Your favourite child is coming around, better not keep her waiting!” she chirped as she practically skipped out of the room leaving my hands flapping like a flightless bird and my mouth opening and closing like a gulping fish.

“Thanks for the early warning.” I squeaked as I caught sight of Rodger making his way into the room as Aunt June left the door open.

“Rodger!” I called him over, slapping my palm against my thigh in an attempt to make him run towards me. He picked up speed, his ears flapping slightly as he sat in front of the sofa, his tail wagging as he awaiting my command.