Good Girls Are Bad Girls That Don't Get Caught

Chapter 73: Recovery

Beep...beep...beep...

What is the point of living? Why do we, as humans, push ourselves till the end? Over and over we allow our hearts to be broken. To allow ourselves to be so open that anyone- at any time can grab the heart from your sleeve and snatch it away from you, all to fuel their own selfish reasons. It is those takers who cause the domino effect. Their hatred rubs off on someone else and so on.

Which brings me to believe that evil isn't born, it's created.

And even the purest of hearts can be tainted.

Hatred.

Jealousy.

It's dark, it's evil and it's harmful.

Now, who in their right mind would want to wake up to that?

Beep...beep...beep...

Not me, that's for sure. Because what would be the point? Leon was gone and my last image of him was surrounded by red and the echoing sound of ragged breathing. Just like grains of sand, he had slipped through my fingers.

Gone, forever.

"It's okay," are two words that echo in the back of my mind like a faint whisper.

Deep down, I want to agree. But I can't, because I know it's not true. It's not okay. It will never be okay.

Maybe it's because I am weak? I couldn't protect my family, nor could I defend myself and now they're all hurting. If I had just gone to the police or have told someone about what I thought happened, then we probably wouldn't be in this mess. I could have even have gone to Taylor or maybe Kyle's dad, he could have hired more men that I can count! Which brings me to my next point, where the bloody hell is Mark? He was supposed to be watching us! I haven't seen him in days!

I guess that doesn't matter, what has happened won't change. It won't bring Leon back.

I wonder if his family know? Do they know he died a hero? A savior? No words can even come close to how much admiration I hold for that friend, that brother.

Beep...beep...beep...

"Is she going to wake up?"

Beep...beep...beep...

Slowly, like awakening from a deep slumber, my body became more aware of my surroundings. I could hear the hushed whispers, a constant beep, and feel the ripple of cold air that flutters over the bare skin of my arm when someone walks past. To my dismay, I was coming around. I didn't want to, I wanted to stay in my unconscious state and block the world from my thoughts.

I guess it's safe to say I'm a coward. I'm not ready to face the people I love and be showered with forced smiles and whispers of, "It will be alright," because then they are lying, to themselves and to me.

Nothing will be the same and I knew that the moment the trigger was pulled.

It almost felt as if I was in a boxing ring. In one corner was me, ready to fight with my oh-so-awesome SpongeBob boxing gloves and my opponent was life itself. And let's just say, episodes of Spongebob are not going to save me this time. Because no matter what, every time I get back up, that little fu!ker keeps knocking me back down. It's continuous and it's bloody tiring.

But then... if I don't continue to get back up, would that mean Amy and my stepmom won? They both initially set out to hurt and destroy and if I don't get back up, they would have succeeded.

Fingers, light to the touch are pulling at strands of my hair and something sounds deep in my throat. A name is on the tip of my tongue and I want to voice it aloud.