When I found you (Niall Horan fanfic)

Chapter 71 "Diary"

NIALL’S P.O.V

2nd June 2013

I’m leaving a hell right now. Although I know there’re people who’s helping me and supporting me, I’m feeling weak. She needs to get better soon. I’m nobody without her. I miss her voice, her eyes, that beautiful smile of hers… I’m feeling so lonely that I’ve never imagine I would feel that way. My parents and Greg were coming and so [Y/N]’s parents. I haven’t sleep for two days. I just couldn’t, I’m waiting for her to open her eyes, to see some reactions, I don’t know, something that can tell me she’s alive!

And then there was the baby. When I first heard about him or her I just couldn’t believe it but now that I know I think I’m ready to be a dad. I’m still young and everything but I’m starting to love the baby, in fact, I already love the baby so much that it was like a piece of me. Together we would work this out, raise the baby and I’m gonna be the best father someone can have. I would take her to the park or play tea time with her or if it’s a boy I would play football and video games with him. But first of all, they needed to get better.

The doctor finally told us yesterday that they managed to stabilize her and we could go see her but just one person in the room. I stayed the night there but like I said before I couldn’t sleep. I was holding her hand and squeezing it at the same time as my right hand was in her stomach when someone knocked the door. It was Theresa.

"Niall, why don’t you go home and have some rest? I’m sorry but you look like shit" she said and I giggled.

"I just can’t let her alone here"

"She’s not alone, I’m gonna take care of her"

"I don’t know… what if she wakes up and I’m not here?"

"Well, I’ll give you a call ok?"

"But…"

"But you need to sleep Niall, we don’t want you to be in the hospital too, do we?" I gave her a weak smile and then nodded. I kissed my princess forehead and then her tummy. She offered staying with her while I was resting but I don’t know if I could have some rest. This whole situation was worst than caffeine. 

"Please, take care of her" 

"I will, I swear" she said and we hugged. Then the boys were all in the waiting room. 

"Hey, how’s she?"

"She doesn’t answer, she’s still unconscious" I answered sighing. 

"She will get better soon" said Liam.

"Well… I’m going home to have some rest"

"Ok, I’m driving" offered Louis and I nodded. All the way to my house was silent. I was tired and didn’t feel like talking. When we arrived I thanked Louis and got in the house. I decided to take a shower and then have some rest, but instead of laying down in my side of the bed, I decided to lay in her side, just to feel her like if she was next to me, but I was feeling something weird in the pillow. It was a little bit more uncomfortable than normal. I looked under it and there was a kind of white notebook with some little butterflies and birds on the cover. What was that? I thought. I sat in bed and decided to open it. 

Today I start and adventure with my best friend in London, England. I’m here to pursue my dreams and to have an amazing experience, and who knows? Maybe I fall in love with somebody that can get back my happiness…

I didn’t know if keep reading or not. It was her diary. I know it’s bad if I read it but I was feeling super curious about what’s inside, what are her thoughts and everything. I kept reading a few more lines and that few lines were followed by a few mores. I spend all day and night reading it. Now that I know all her thoughts I feel like I didn’t know anything about her before reading it. Now I see some things quite clear and understand some reactions of her. I didn’t know how much she suffered in the past and how much she was suffering a few days ago. But the worst part came with all the bad things she said about herself, she was letting herself down and I didn’t know why, until now. Some tears streamed down my face when I was reading everything about the baby and this made me realize that I love her even more.