Dear Evan Hansen one-shots!

I Haven't Slept in Four Days

Zoe blinked rapidly. She had an English assignment due at 8 am. She quickly continued to type and looked at the clock in the corner of her laptop screen.

"4 am Zoe. Going on your second sleepless night. It's okay. You're okay." Zoe whispered.

She didn't want her dorm mate to think she was crazy. She quickly finished typing and closed her computer. She would print off her assignment after her dorm mate had woken up. 

Her mother and father had sent her to an all girls Jewish boarding school after Connor's death. There was a uniform, and daily mass, and prayer circles, and Torah studies, and she didn't get to see Evan as much as she wanted.

As soon as shiva was over, her parents told her what was happening to her. She had locked herself in her room and kicked and screamed but her parents were adamant; their only daughter (and now only child) was going to get part of a Jewish education.

She sat in her bed and looked at the clock. It was getting closer to 4:30. Zoe knew she wasn't getting any sleep so she grabbed her phone.

"Hey. I know you're asleep but I'm not. I miss you so much. Lunch on Saturday?"

Zoe hit send and put her phone down. She knew Evan wouldn't text back until the morning but she was fairly confident that he wouldn't say no. She looked around the dark room and at her dorm mate.

Her dorm mate Charity, in Zoe's opinion, was a bitch. She had blonde curly hair and wore a Star of David around her neck that she would touch every ten seconds as if she was asking God for something. She'd read every part of the Torah and she would read her Siddur every night and she prayed more then Zoe had ever seen. Charity had tried to take Zoe under her wing since Zoe had walked into the building. The only problem was that Zoe couldn't stand Charity. But Charity was relentless. She would drag her friends to sit with Zoe during lunch, they'd sit near her during mass, and Charity had held many prayer sessions in their dorm. But Zoe knew she wasn't going to let Charity go anywhere near her.

"Bitch." Zoe whispered.

She got out of bed and snuck to her backpack. She pulled out her math textbook and notebook and sat on her bed. If she was going to get ahead in math, then it might as well be at 4:30 am.

+++

"Zoe! Come join our prayer circle!"

Zoe looked over and saw Charity, Hope, and Rachel sitting at a table with their prayer beads in hand. Zoe took a small step towards them.

"Come on silly! It'll be fun!" Charity said. Zoe sat down and Charity smirked.

"I'll start." Charity said. The two other girls grabbed Charity's hands and they all bowed their heads.

"Well I want to pray for all the men, women, and children in the Middle East. May God lead them all to safety." Charity said.

"Amen!" Rachel and Hope whispered.

"But I also want to pray for Zoe. I know she's having a difficult time transitioning into this new environment so I pray that God may help make the transition easier." Charity said. Zoe glared at the girls in front of her as Hope looked up.

"Zoe. Who are you going to pray for?" Hope asked.

"What?" Zoe asked.

"Well, we know your brother is sick." Rachel said. Zoe looked down at her hands and felt tears well up in her eyes.

"Maybe you should pray for him? Or maybe your boyfriend?" Charity said. Zoe's head shot up and she glared at the girls in front of her.

"There is nothing wrong with my boyfriend. He doesn't need to be prayed for. And my brother is dead you bitch. And if you bring him up again, I'm going to strangle you with that kabbalah and I'm going to like it!" Zoe hissed.