Dear Evan Hansen one-shots!

Help

T/W for suicide attempts and suicidal thoughts
Requested by Ayrissa_Christensen

"Connor I'm leaving!" Evan shouted, finishing tying his shoes.

"Where are you going again?" Connor asked, walking down the hall.

"I've got a class. I should be back in just over an hour. Love you." Evan kissed Connor on the cheek and grabbed his coat. He pulled it on and smiled at Connor before walking out the front door.

Connor exhaled loudly and looked around. He hated being in the apartment alone. But Evan had classes he needed to go to and Connor didn't want to bother him.

He walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch, turning on the tv. He tried to shut off the negative thoughts in his mind but failed, letting the negativity consume him.

"Evan doesn't really love you."

"You fucking waste of space"

"There's a reason Zoe's the favourite child."

"You're fucking worthless."

"How much better would everything be if you just killed yourself?"

"I'm sure Evan would be happier. Your parents and Zoe would be too."

Connor stood up and walked to the bathroom. He was sick of the negativity. It was going to stop now.

+++

"Connor! I'm home! Class ended early!" Evan said, closing the door behind him.

"Connor?" Evan asked, pulling his shoes and coat off. He walked down the hall and saw Connor staring into his hands.

He had a handful of various pills in his hand.

"Oh my god Connor!" Evan shouted. He hit Connor's hand and the pills scattered everywhere. Both boys stood in silence and Evan looked at Connor.

"Connor, what were you thinking?" Evan asked quietly.

Connor turned to him with tears in his eyes.

"I was thinking that I'm a complete waste of space, that I'm worthless, that maybe everything would be better if I was dead!" Connor said. Evan hugged him tightly and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Connor. None of that is true. I love you. Zoe loves you. Your parents love you. Everything would fall apart if you died. I love you. So much. I don't want to lose you." Evan said. Connor squeezed Evan tighter.

"I don't want you to disappear." Evan whispered. Connor looked at him.

"So I need you to promise me, that if you ever feel like this again, you're going to call me or Zo, or text us. We love you. We don't want anything to happen." Evan said. Connor nodded and Evan kissed him.

"I promise."