Dear Evan Hansen one-shots!

The Past

If there was one thing Zoe Murphy hated, it was dwelling on the past. Thinking about the past made her think about Connor and then she would be in a bad mood for the rest of the day. So when her daughter asked about Connor, it threw Zoe for a loop.

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"Mom?"

"Yeah Mal?" Zoe said, not looking up from her laptop.

"Who's this?"

Zoe looked up and saw her daughter holding a photo of Connor.

"Mallory. Where did you get that?" Zoe asked.

"The photo album in your bedroom. Dad said he's a friend but he said I should ask you." Mallory said.

"Put it away. I don't want you worrying about it." Zoe said.

"But Mom-"

"Now Mallory. I'm not going to ask you again." Zoe said. Mallory turned and walked back upstairs. Evan walked downstairs and saw Zoe, sitting with her head in her hands.

"Hey babe, what's wrong?" Evan asked.

"What did you tell Mallory about Connor?" Zoe asked softly.

"Nothing. I said he was an old friend that died. That's all." Evan said.

"She's going through photo albums and asking questions." Zoe said.

"Okay but don't you think it's time we told her the truth about Connor?" Evan asked.

"No. I'm not doing that. You can. I won't talk about Connor. Evan you know that!" Zoe said.

"I know honey, but Mallory is our daughter and Connor would be her uncle. I think she has every right to know. And I think you should be there when she's told." Evan said.

"No. I'm not talking about Connor. Not with you, and certainly not with Mallory." Zoe said. She shut her laptop and stormed upstairs.

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"Mom." Mallory said.

"Yeah?" Zoe asked.

"Why did Dad want me to ask you about the man in the photo?" Mallory asked.

"Mallory, I have already told you not to worry. Drop it. Please." Zoe said.

"But Mom-"

"Mallory Hansen. I have asked you twice now. I won't ask again." Zoe said.

"But Mom, He was in your special album." Mallory said. Zoe looked at her daughter.

"What?"

"The really special album. It's the one with pictures of you as a kid and some of my baby pictures and pictures of you and Dad getting married. Why was he in it?" Mallory asked.

"Don't worry about it." Zoe said.

"Why won't you talk about it! What did he do to you?" Mallory yelled.

That sent Zoe over the edge.

"Young lady, I have repeatedly said not to worry about it. It isn't anything of your concern. Put the photo back. Do not bring it up again!" Zoe said firmly.

"Ugh! Why do you do that?" Mallory asked.

"Pardon?"

"You treat me like I'm incompetent! Like a child! Mom I'm old enough to know!" Mallory said.

"You are acting like a child Mallory. You need to put the photo back where you found it and drop the subject. I will tell you if I feel you are ready." Zoe said. Mallory stomped out of her mother and father's room before slamming the door behind her.

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"What's The Connor Project?"

Zoe's head shot up. It had been over a week since Mallory last asked about Connor.

"Excuse me?" Zoe asked.

"The Connor Project. I googled you. And nothing came up. Then I googled Dad. Turns out he was the co-president of something called The Connor Project. What is it?" Mallory asked.

"Well if you googled it, you should know." Zoe said.

"Kinda. Some kid named Connor killed himself and they raised money in his memory." Mallory said.

"And what happened to the money?" Zoe asked.

"It doesn't say." Mallory said.

"They bought a orchard. And named it in Connor's honour." Zoe said.

"Really?" Mallory asked.

"Yes. The orchard is still around. What else did you find?" Zoe asked.

"Your name and Nana and Papa's names are on there too." Mallory said.

"Uh huh. Do you know why?" Zoe asked.

"Because he was your brother." Mallory said softly.

"That's right." Zoe said, her tone more gentle.

"And the man in the picture is Connor." Mallory said.

"That's right." Zoe said.

"But if he was your brother, why don't you talk about him?" Mallory asked.

Zoe took a deep breath.

"Connor and I didn't get along. He skipped school and didn't listen to Nana or Papa and he had a very difficult time. He would go out at night and get high and then come home. He would pound on my door and tell me he was going to kill me. So when he killed himself, part of me was relieved. But then your dad got involved. Everything was good for a while. And then it kinda fell apart. Your dad and I broke up and it was hard again. Your dad and I got back together over a year later and then everything was good. And we got married and had you, and everything got even better. And I've dreaded having this conversation with you since I laid eyes on you. It is very difficult for me to talk about Connor and that's why I gave you such a hard time. I'm sorry Mallory." Zoe said.

"It's okay Mama. I'm sorry that happened to you. It sounds terrible." Mallory said. Zoe hugged her daughter.

"I should have told you earlier." Zoe said softly.

"No Mom, I should've dropped the subject when you told me. I shouldn't have kept pushing. I'm sorry." Mallory said. Zoe looked at her daughter.

"When did you get so wise?" Zoe asked, pushing Mallory's hair behind her ear. Mallory shrugged.

"I don't know." Mallory said, smiling. Zoe hugged her daughter again and smiled.

"I love you Mal." She said.

"I love you too Mama."