20. Artistic vision

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He heard the twins breaking out in another symphony of hysterical cries after he had slammed the door so hard.

Was it really the point where his and Taeyong's ways needed to part. Was it really over because of something so stupid.

Jae was trembling when he reached a crowded promenade along the beach found a bar ordered whiskey, he emptied the gasses with two large sips asking the barkeeper to leave the bottle.

He tried his best to calm down but he couldn't, even the alcohol burning in his system wasn't giving him release.

He remembered his exciting time with Mark in New York, their meaningful talks in LA, he remembered how alive he had felt, while here, the nightmare of Ten and Rachel's life he was looking at was crumbling the hair on his head. And Taeyong was sitting there babysitting the twins that were crying days and night, cleaning any singing stupid songs instead of touring the world, instead of performing in front of sold out stadiums, a dream Jae has always had but never achieved. He had a small fanbase, a fanbase enough to make a few concerts her and there in clubs or theaters, but he has never reached the level of Taeyong or Mark, the A class worldwide superstars. How could Taeyong give this in, give in everything Jae has ever wanted for nothing.

I think we should part ways, said his mind. Although he had promised himself he will never break up with Taeyong again.

He was ready to go back to tell Taeyong they needed to quit it but his insides began to ache. He loved Taeyong, yes he couldn't watch how his love was wasting his life that way.

Jae left the rest of the bottle on the counter, paid, then walked out down to the beach, lot of tourist had come to see the sunset, so Jae sat down in the sand looking how the red ball was sinking behind the horizon. He was considering it all, will he really be able to live without Taeyong again, since he had met him there were only this short periods they had been apart, these three times he had broken up but Taeyong was everything, Jae has alleys found a way back to him and the past four years were one golden phase of happiness, he thought they ware so strong, he thought it will last. He wanted to call Taeil to cry into the phone but he knew it's up to him, the decision is the one he had to make alone.

The sun set into the ocean but its was still warm, some couples were walking down the beach making photos with flashlights. Couldn't him and Taeyong be here in some five star resort in a private bungalow all alone, have passionate sex above the stars, maybe even a private beach were he could take Taeyong in the waves as he has never had sex one the beach with Taeyong just with Sicheng, this memory was like a knife. It was dark when Jae got up, the pain and frustration were in him again when he was walking back to Ten's house, ready to pack and leave. What will Taeil say when he will appear back on tour so quickly, what will Mark do. Will they fall into a crazy row of clubbing getting wasted, will some other people happen. Jae shivered, he opened the door carefully to not to wake the twins up, he saw that Ten and Rachel were gone probably asleep only Taeyong was lying on the couch watching TV that as on very quietly.

Taeyong noticed him so he sat up pulling the blanket tighter over himself, his face was troubled his eyes carried despair.

"Jae," he whispered.

Jae was shivering when he walked to the couch sitting down next to Taeyong trembling like crazy till Taeyong's hand landed on his back.

"Pease don't even consider breaking up with me for the forth time, it's something I'll never ever stand," said Taeyong causing Jae to nearly break out into tears.

"We... it won't wofk this way. We have completely diffefent needs," said Jae turning to Taeyong but these dark eyes melted the ice in him.

"Remember how you were the good boy who was living with his terrible mum when I was the rebel rapper, partying as hard as Mark is right now?" asked Taeyong.

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