Intimacy

Part 20

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"Did you see his face? We got him." Max said with a smile and he reached out my hand to forced me to do a handshake with him. I thought I was happy because the plan was starting to work but I felt empty and disappointed at myself.

Was this the right thing to do? To let my bitterness and anger take over, to make them feel the pain I felt? Is it right to throw a stone at a person who threw a stone to you? If it was the right to do then why did I feel weird and sad?

I needed to remind myself that seeking revenge is what I wanted. I sighed and gave him a small smile in return but he obviously got the fact that I wasn't in the mood so he asked me "What's wrong?"

I shook and then left the place, I heard his footsteps following me from behind but I stopped when I heard Christopher's voice called my name. I turned around and looked a him, he walked passed Max with a death glare then he approached me.

"Valerie, you need to give me an explanation. When did this all happened? I understand the dating thing that we did before was fake but.." He stuttered.

I was confused with his frustration over me dating Max when the truth is, it was all a lie just like our so called relationship. I wanted him to feel pain like what he did to me. Feelings are not something that you can just go and mess around with, feelings are rare, hard to find and definitely pure. If you play with people's feelings, you are a monster.

"But what?" I asked because he couldn't continue his sentence.

Then he let out a heavy sigh, it felt like I was pressuring him. "I was looking for Joel and I saw him in one of the rooms, passed out." He changed the subject.

"You didn't continue.." I said with my arms crossed.

He bit his bottom lip, I could see his eyes light up because of the city lights that reflect and gave his brown eyes look even prettier. He looked so soft and handsome at the same time, I would be the most happiest person alive if he has feelings for me too but I guess life isn't a fairytale.

I wanted to hug him and tell him that I wanted to continue the whole fake relationship thing because as much as I hated it, I would do anything just to be able to be with him and see his face often. I missed him and I had to admit that I have a big fat crush on him.

Love is like drug that you can't escape from even though you know it's bad for you but I didn't care, I just wanted to be him.

"But I can't say it, I can't find the right words to say. I'm sorry Valerie. I.. I have to go." He said then he left me dumbfounded. I watched him leave and my eyes started to get all teary, screaming I want him back in my life.

A minute ago, he was chasing me and asked me for an explanation why I am dating Max and he was going to tell me something but then he left. I didn't bother to look at Max, my heart felt like it got stab again but who was to blame? Me. ----

The next day, my head was throbbing like a mother freaking disco lights, I dragged myself to the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee. I couldn't sleep at all last night, I was up all night overthinking.

Max texted me around six in the morning but I didn't reply to his text.

I was expecting calls and messages from Joel or Christopher but it never pop up so I made myself a cup of coffee, I was enjoying the coffee until I heard someone rang the doorbell. I was palpitating hardcore that I felt like a monster was ringing my doorbell.

I opened the door and Joel stood in front of me, he was wearing the black beanie that I gave to him on his birthday,

"Hey can I come in?" He asked, shyly.

I nodded, I assumed that he was going to talk about the thing that happened last night. He sat on the couch and stared at the carpet, "So hmm did you sleep well?" He asked, breaking the silence between us. I could definitely feel the awkward atmosphere.

"Yeah." I lied.

I sat down next to him and pulled him for a hug because I couldn't take it anymore, I missed my best friend so much.

"Val I came to talk." He said.

I pulled away from the hug and gulped nervously. "If you're here to talk about last night then I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kiss you in the first place or even make with you or sit on your lap. You're my best friend and I wasn't thinking right last night." I said.

He frowned, he looked disappointed and sad at the same time.

"Oh, okay..hmm it's fine. I get it, we were super drunk last night." He said.

I nodded, but I wasn't drunk. I didn't even drink, "Yeah I promise that it won't happen again." I know he was disgusted but I hope he won't hate me for that, I mean technically the things he did was way worst than me making out with him all the sudden and made him questioned why I did that.

Also, I thought I was going to stick to the plan but I was indecisive or maybe just soft-hearted.

I couldn't continue the level two with this little game of mine.

"Okay." He said and with that he stood up and told me that he's gonna head out, not a word after my explanation except for the 'okay' and that he was going to leave my place.

I was going to ask him if he was feeling better from last night because he passed out but he didn't look like he wanted to talk to me so I didn't ask. I just let him leave.

Hence, Max would probably be confused because I didn't stick to the plan.

My mind was going nuts for Christopher, I blame him for making my heart soft. I couldn't hurt him, I just can't and the fact that I couldn't stop replaying the night when we were making out, if I were being honest to myself. I want him , more.

He was trying to tell me something last night but he stopped with a 'but'.

Ugh, I sighed in frustration.

Christopher you handsome beast, he had no idea what he did to me. I was feeling so good and the excitement filled in me every time he touches me. I need to see him, I need to. My heart wanted him so bad but only him and no one else.