Intimacy

Part 22

<< Hello everyone, I hope yall are having a great day ahead. Thank you all again for supporting and reading this story because it really mean a lot to me. :)

Here are some songs I listened to while writing and editing this chapter

Breath - Sam Kim,

Yours - Lee Hi featuring Chanyeol ( EXO ) >>

Even if it was all pretend and that all the love he gave to me was fake but I felt like it was real. I couldn't forget the words he said to me that made my heart fluttered, it all just seemed so real to me. I was happy and filled with joy for a short period of time until it all shattered into pieces.

Hence, the way we touched and the way we look at each other, sometimes I wish I could stop the time. I wish I didn't find out about the truth and that it was all fake to him because it was so hard for me to accept it and move on but I reminded myself that I need to have self-respect too.

At the same time, if he comes to me again and tell me, convinced me that he truly loves me and prove to me that it is real. I will never let him go, I will give my best to make him stay because chasing a man isn't a woman's job. A woman's job is to make the relationship strong, not chasing after someone you have feelings for. You can't force a man to love a woman.

I sighed and stared at the floor of my bedroom, he called me a dumb bitch and that was too much for me. It was an insult to me. How could he say that to me when he knows that I love him and all he ever did was breaking my heart.

I hugged my pillow and cried, it was soaking wet and it felt like my body was numb and paralyzed.

My first love, my first boyfriend and my first kiss was all fake and a game, nothing hurts more than being played.

I've been crying for three days straight and was it even worth it? He really ruined my mental health these passed few days. My eyes were red and my face were bloated. I was so stupid to let him break my heart but at the same time I wish he felt the same way.

I sighed, nobody warned me about falling in love.

Suddenly, I heard a knock on the door so I wiped the tears from eyes immediately and fixed my posture. My older sister was the one who knocked, she brought dinner that I told her to order for me after she return from her internship.

She sat next to me on my bed then she hugged me and I smiled, she was such a sweetheart to comfort me when I was feeling so down. "Eat your dinner and get ready after you finish your food because we are going out." She said.

I nodded.

I told her what Christopher did again, I couldn't keep it inside knowing it was killing me slowly so I needed to let it out. My sister was all ears, listening to me and watched me cry. I was grateful to have a caring older sister like her that listen to my crap about relationship.

After I finished my food, I went straight to the bathroom to take a quick refreshing shower then I simply put on my black tank top and jean to paired with my black converse before heading out.

I had no idea where my sister is taking me, I was thankful that she was here with me to help me deal with pain. I needed a distraction from the reality and my sister was helping me with it by taking me out to enjoy the world outside with just her and me.

During the car ride, I watched the city lights and when we passed by a familiar park where me and Chris had our fourth date, I gulped and looked away immediately. I tried not to think about him, I was in a fake relationship for three months.

It was tragic that what we had probably meant nothing to him but it meant the whole world to me.

"We arrived." My sister smiled and we unbuckled our seat belts.

We arrived in a beautiful carnival, where there were a lot of creative decorations and delicious snacks.

It was crowded but very festive.

My sister gestured me to pose so she could take a picture of me, she showed me the pictures and I looked slightly happy with that smile plastered on my face. My eyes were still swollen and red from crying to much but nevertheless I still looked good in pictures.

I giggled.

"Come on, loosen up and have fun. Let's live in the moment and forget about him, okay?" She said.

I pouted. "Sure." I said.

She rolled her eyes at me and rubbed my back, "Look, Christopher obviously doesn't care about you so you don't have to waste your time caring about him okay? He is cancelled, you deserved better." She said, she tried to lift my spirit up.

"Jeez right." I said.

We spent like two hours in the carnival, we were eating a lot of snacks and watched a few of amazing performances.

"I'm going to Coachella this year, are you coming?" My sister asked.

She always go to Coachella like every year, she never missed to attend and I only been to Coachella like one time.

I nodded, "Yeah I'm going, it's not like I have anyone to hangout with well not anymore." I said.

She frowned, "Oh come on, what am I then? I am always here when you need me okay?" She said and it made me smile.

I smiled at her and gave her a hug. "Thank you sis." I said.

"We'll find you a new real ass boyfriend okay? So real that you're gonna get married to him." She giggled and I shook my head in annoyance, "Whatever." I giggled. ----

We went home around ten in the evening.

I was busy texting my mother at the hallway to our apartment and my attention switched to my sister when she called my name. "What?" We stopped at the hallway when I saw Christopher stood in front of our doorway.

I gulped and approached him, my older sister went inside the apartment without giving Christopher a smile or even greet him. She pretended like he wasn't there but I couldn't do that, his face looked so worried and he got some bruises on his face too.

I saw a bandage around his wrist.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"Listen, please come with me tomorrow. I will be here to pick you up at five am sharp tomorrow then I will explain it to you tomorrow. I don't have much time to spare now, I have to go now." He said, his voice cracked.

I was so confused and when did he arrived here? I was going to throw him a lot of questions but I was an idiot so I just watched him leave.

"What the hell?"

I went inside, confused and anxious. I was happy for a while when I saw him but he looked like someone beat the shit out of him. He had bruises and there was a bandage on his wrist too. What happened to him? Was he in another fight?

He ignored me for days and then he showed up unexpectedly to tell me that he was going to pick me up at five am? Why so early though? I had so many questions and he better explain it all to me or else I will be furious because I was so frustrated with his attitude. He confused me and it was like solving a hard question for me. I need answers for goodness sake.

Then, my phone vibrated inside my purse so I pulled out my phone and saw a message from Joel. Before I could open and read the text from him, my sister came and asked me about Christopher.

"What's his problem?" She asked with a brow raised.

I shrugged, "I don't know exactly but he told me...hmm.. he's gonna pick me up tomorrow early in the morning. He said he wants to give me an explanation." I said and my sister laughed, "What? Why so early though?" She asked.

I think it has something to do with our past for sure, whatever it is. I was glad that I got to see him, "I don't know either but I hope it's nothing bad to make me feel more worst than ever." I sighed.

"Valerie, just be careful." She said.

"I'm not judgmental but I have trust issues with boys that are covered with tattoos and you watched him got into a fight before. You don't know this dude that well, so take care of yourself. Just call me tomorrow if he did something." She said.

I nodded, "Noted sis and thank you." I said.